In many countries, good schools and medical facilities are available only in cities. Some people think new teachers and doctors should work in rural areas for a few years, but others think everyone should be free to choose where they work. Discuss both of these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answers and provide relevant example and experience you might have.

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There is no doubt that in a a lot of
areas
Use synonyms
of the world, developed schools and health facilities are only available in
cities
Use synonyms
, some people think new educators and doctors should
work
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in the countryside for a few
years
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,
However
Linking Words
, others consider everyone should choose where they want to
work
Use synonyms
, In
this
Linking Words
essay I'm going to discuss both points of view and give my opinion. In terms of working in rural
areas
Use synonyms
, there should be some workers that
work
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in the countryside
such
Linking Words
as teachers and doctors, because if all of them
decided
Wrong verb form
decide
show examples
to move to developed
cities
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, rural
areas
Use synonyms
will not contain a good standard of living,
this
Linking Words
will result in less educated people
due to
Linking Words
the emigration of workers to
cities
Use synonyms
, In order to solve
this
Linking Words
problem, the government should build new schools and hospitals in rural
areas
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to improve the standard of living in the
country side
Correct your spelling
countryside
show examples
.
However
Linking Words
, if any employee had the right to choose
were
Correct your spelling
where
show examples
to
work
Use synonyms
, they
will
Wrong verb form
would
show examples
mostly choose to move to
cities
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,
therefore
Linking Words
, they
most
Correct your spelling
must
show examples
work
Use synonyms
in rural
areas
Use synonyms
for a few
years
Use synonyms
then
Linking Words
they decide where to go, to elaborate, after
graduation
Add a comma
graduation,
show examples
they should
work
Use synonyms
at least 4
years
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in the
country side
Correct your spelling
countryside
show examples
then
Linking Words
they could decide where to go ,
this
Linking Words
will result in a significant
improvance
Correct your spelling
importance
improve
in education systems in rural
areas
Use synonyms
and will contain more educated workforce. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
some people disagree
on
Change preposition
with
show examples
forcing employees to
work
Use synonyms
in rural
areas
Use synonyms
for a few
years
Use synonyms
, others think that
this
Linking Words
idea will develop the standard of living and improve both education and medical facilities,
therefore
Linking Words
I believe that letting workers get a job and
work
Use synonyms
in the
country side
Correct your spelling
countryside
show examples
for a few
years
Use synonyms
will have a positive impact on the life in small
cities
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by yazanalt523 on

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coherence cohesion
Try to ensure consistency in punctuation, particularly with commas and periods. For instance, periods should be used instead of commas to separate some sentences to improve clarity.
coherence cohesion
Use clear topic sentences to introduce each paragraph. This helps guide the reader through your arguments and makes your essay easier to follow.
task achievement
Include relevant and specific examples to illustrate your arguments. This strengthens your points and demonstrates a deeper understanding of the topic.
task achievement
Clarify your reasoning. Some points were a bit repetitive and could be expanded further for better clarity and depth.
coherence cohesion
Review the grammar and vocabulary to avoid small mistakes like ‘a a lot’ instead of ‘a lot’ and ‘result in a significant improvance’ instead of ‘significant improvement.’
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps frame your argument well.
task achievement
You satisfactorily addressed both sides of the argument and gave your own opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Access to quality education and healthcare
  • Bridge the gap
  • Professional growth
  • Problem-solving skills
  • Adaptability
  • Freedom of choice
  • Job satisfaction
  • Incentives
  • Higher salaries
  • Housing benefits
  • Student loan forgiveness
  • Voluntarily
  • Community well-being
  • Local economies
  • Resources and infrastructure
  • Adequate support
  • Societal impact
  • Mandating
  • Rural populations
  • Professional development
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