In many countries, good schools and medical facilities are available only in cities. Some people think new teachers and doctors should work in rural areas for a few years, but others think everyone should be free to choose where they work. Discuss both of these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answers and provide relevant example and experience you might have.
There is no doubt that in a a lot of
areas
of the world, developed schools and health facilities are only available in cities
, some people think new educators and doctors should work
in the countryside for a few years
, However
, others consider everyone should choose where they want to work
, In this
essay I'm going to discuss both points of view and give my opinion.
In terms of working in rural areas
, there should be some workers that work
in the countryside such
as teachers and doctors, because if all of them decided
to move to developed Wrong verb form
decide
cities
, rural areas
will not contain a good standard of living, this
will result in less educated people due to
the emigration of workers to cities
, In order to solve this
problem, the government should build new schools and hospitals in rural areas
to improve the standard of living in the country side
.
Correct your spelling
countryside
However
, if any employee had the right to choose were
to Correct your spelling
where
work
, they will
mostly choose to move to Wrong verb form
would
cities
, therefore
, they most
Correct your spelling
must
work
in rural areas
for a few years
then
they decide where to go, to elaborate, after graduation
they should Add a comma
graduation,
work
at least 4 years
in the country side
Correct your spelling
countryside
then
they could decide where to go , this
will result in a significant improvance
in education systems in rural Correct your spelling
importance
improve
areas
and will contain more educated workforce.
In conclusion, although
some people disagree on
forcing employees to Change preposition
with
work
in rural areas
for a few years
, others think that this
idea will develop the standard of living and improve both education and medical facilities, therefore
I believe that letting workers get a job and work
in the country side
for a few Correct your spelling
countryside
years
will have a positive impact on the life in small cities
.Submitted by yazanalt523 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
Try to ensure consistency in punctuation, particularly with commas and periods. For instance, periods should be used instead of commas to separate some sentences to improve clarity.
coherence cohesion
Use clear topic sentences to introduce each paragraph. This helps guide the reader through your arguments and makes your essay easier to follow.
task achievement
Include relevant and specific examples to illustrate your arguments. This strengthens your points and demonstrates a deeper understanding of the topic.
task achievement
Clarify your reasoning. Some points were a bit repetitive and could be expanded further for better clarity and depth.
coherence cohesion
Review the grammar and vocabulary to avoid small mistakes like ‘a a lot’ instead of ‘a lot’ and ‘result in a significant improvance’ instead of ‘significant improvement.’
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps frame your argument well.
task achievement
You satisfactorily addressed both sides of the argument and gave your own opinion.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.