Some governments provide financial assistance for retired, unemployed and disabled citizens. In other countries, families provide support for these people. Discuss both systems and give your opinion about which one you think is better.

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It is widely known that in some

countries

Use synonyms

the government assists

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

elderly citizens by providing financial help, in other parts of the world

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

families take up

this

Linking Words

role.

This

Linking Words

essay will analyse both arguments and give reasons why it is the duty of the family to take care of the elderly or retired population. Governments in certain

countries

Use synonyms

are left with no other choice than to assist the elderly monetarily.

This

Linking Words

is because many older people do not have any family to look after them. It is possible that someone never had children or moved to a different location later in life, meaning that they have no family to provide for them.

For instance

Linking Words

, a person who never chose to marry or never had children might retire at 70 years old and have no one to look after them.

For

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

reason, it is clearly evident that people like them deserve assistance from the government as they get older and lose the ability to look after themselves.

On the contrary

Linking Words

indivduals

Correct your spelling

individuals

from many

countries

Use synonyms

prefer the take up

this

Linking Words

role of assisting the elderly

This

Linking Words

is to say, that they can receive improved personalised care if it is someone from within the family.

As a result

Linking Words

, increased time and attention

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

devoted to the

wellbeing

Correct your spelling

well-being

show examples

of these people.

Moreover

Linking Words

, personally taking up the responsibility of assisting the elderly has a positive effect on them. It has

shown

Add a missing verb

been shown

show examples

to increase happiness levels and instill a sense of belonging. With

this

Linking Words

in mind, it is undoubtedly beneficial for

elderly

Correct article usage

the elderly

show examples

to be supported by their

Correct your spelling

family

familiy

Correct your spelling

families

In conclusion,

although

Linking Words

in certain

countries

Use synonyms

the authorities provide help to the elderly and disabled citizens, I believe that it is the duty of the family members to support the elderly.

Additionally

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this

Linking Words

ensures that they are being looked after properly and all their specific needs are met.

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relevant specific examples

Elaborate more on examples. For instance, in the first body paragraph, an example of how government assistance can be structured (like pensions and social security) would strengthen your argument.

supported main points

Ensure every point is consistently supported with evidence and examples. This makes your arguments more compelling and grounded.

logical structure

Watch out for minor spelling mistakes. For example, 'indivduals' should be 'individuals,' and 'familiy' should be 'family.'

introduction conclusion present

Your essay has a clear and concise introduction and conclusion, which neatly summarizes the key points.

complete response

You have presented a balanced view by discussing both governmental and familial support systems.

logical structure

The essay flows logically, making it easy to follow your line of reasoning.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

313 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

financial assistance
retired
unemployed
disabled
government support
safety net
social security
pensions
poverty
social inequality
redistribute
wealth
savings
financial planning
political climate
economic stability
familial support
intergenerational
community ties
pressure
strained relationships
feasible

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Some governments provide financial assistance for retired, unemployed and disabled citizens. In other countries, families provide support for these people. Discuss both systems and give your opinion about which one you think is better.

Your opinion

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Some people say that parents have the most important role in a child's development. However others argue that other things like television or friends have the most significant influence. Discuss both views and give your own opinion