Some people think that the media should be for entertainment only, while others believe that media should have educational values. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In
this
society,
media
has contributed to one of the inevitable parts.
People
some of them say it can be deployed for
entertainment
activities,
while
others argue
media
is essential for academic purposes.
This
essay will discuss both views. In my perspective,
media
is very important for education
as well as
entertainment
.
Initially
, technology has divided the
media
into two parts, first one is
television
media
and another is social
media
.
In other words
,
television
media
has telecast movies, news and other
programs
.
Moreover
, most
people
use
television
for
entertainment
purposes only and there are a lot of
entertainment
programs
and serials
are
Correct pronoun usage
that are
show examples
telecasted by
television
only.
Additionally
, in the current ambience, a lot of private channels are available in
television
media
,
hence
, there are numerous entertaining
programs
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
being telecasted at the same time,
due
Correct word choice
and due
show examples
to that
people
are perplexed sometimes to choose the channel
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
television
.
Besides
, social
media
such
as Facebook and YouTube are another type of
media
that entertain
people
during their leisure periods.
Furthermore
,
media
can be used in the academic field
Rephrase
apply
show examples
also
.
In addition
, the
media
is telecasting educational
programs
for
students
.
Additionally
, some private channels are conducting quiz
programs
for
students
and youngsters, these
programs
invite some academic professionals and provide some intellectual ideas to
students
as well as
parents. There is another window
also
opened, social
media
contains a lot of online recorded classes and research works.
Hence
,
students
will get more knowledge from
this
.
To conclude
,
media
is one of the most inevitable parts of
this
world. It can help to enhance
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
lives in a gorgeous.
Submitted by smsundaram57 on

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task achievement
Ensure that your introduction clearly outlines both views and sets up the discussion effectively. Adding more context about the importance of media will strengthen your introduction.
task achievement
Develop your main points further by providing more detailed examples or explanations. This will make your argument more convincing and comprehensive.
coherence cohesion
Work on creating a more logical flow between paragraphs. Use clear linking words and phrases to improve coherence and cohesion.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea and that all sentences within the paragraph support this idea. This will enhance the clarity and structure of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Revise your conclusion to effectively summarize the main points discussed in the essay and restate your own opinion in a clear manner.
task achievement
The essay addresses both views and tries to provide a balanced discussion.
coherence cohesion
There is a good attempt to structure the essay with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task achievement
The language used is clear and understandable, which makes the essay easy to follow.

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