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Band 5.5

Some people think the best way to solve global environmental problems is to increase the cost of fuel，To what extent do you agree or disagree.

#people #cost #fuel，to
Some believe that raising the price of
fuel
 is the best solution to tackle
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
environmental issues
accross
Correct your spelling
across
 the globe. In my opinion,
this
 method would result in decreasing the effects of those problems,
however
, I would not consider it
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the most effective way since more policies should be implemented simultaneously in order to overcome
this
 challenge. Admittedly, burning
fuel
 is the essential cause of environmental challenges we
encounter
Wrong verb form
have encountered
show examples
 for a long period of time.
Therefore
, increasing the cost of utilizing it would incentivize people to devise alternative methods to reduce the implications of
fuel
. By taking those steps, government authorities not only can reduce the number of individuals
possess
Correct pronoun usage
who possess
show examples
 cars and other types of vehicles but
also
 encourage scientists and engineers to invent new models of transport means
which
Correct word choice
that
show examples
 do not damage
environment
Add an article
the environment
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.
For example
, the electric cars introduced by Tesla are eco-friendly, and as a source of
power
Add a comma
power,
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 they use
electric
Replace the word
electricity
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.
This
 innovation is followed by other companies as well to manufacture even more efficient products.
On the other hand
,
albeit
Correct word choice
although
show examples
 the price of energy
source
Fix the agreement mistake
sources
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 can significantly influence
to resolve
Verb problem
apply
show examples
the global issues, it would not have any effective results once authorities implement solely
this
 remedy. It should be reinforced with other
measurements
Replace the word
measures
show examples
 as well,
such
 as increasing people's awareness
by
Change preposition
through
show examples
 various campaigns and
trainings
Change the wording
training
pieces of training
show examples
 and enacting particular laws to punish members of the public,
such
 as charging fines and even convicting them for disobeying the rules. Harming the nature surrounding us should be considered the major fraction within
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
societies. Those small but concrete steps will provide more sustainable outcomes.
To conclude
, an upward change in the cost of
fuel
 might have a major impact on tackling the challenges posed by
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
nature,
however
, to increase its efficiency it
shoud
Correct your spelling
should
 be executed with additional actions.
Submitted by Dinare Abdullayeva on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay is well-structured with a clear introduction and conclusion. However, the logical flow between some points could be improved. Consider adding transitional phrases to enhance coherence.
task achievement
While your essay responds fully to the task question, some ideas could be better developed and expressed more clearly. Be careful with grammatical errors and slightly awkward phrasing.
task achievement
Your essay covers the task comprehensively by discussing both the advantages and the limitations of increasing fuel costs as a solution for environmental problems.
coherence cohesion
The introduction effectively sets the stage for the rest of the essay, and the conclusion succinctly wraps up the discussion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • environmental sustainability
  • economic inequality
  • renewable energy
  • public transportation
  • urban planning
  • demand elasticity
  • innovation
  • fossil fuels
  • carbon footprint
  • green technology
  • supply and demand
  • alternative energy
  • economic growth
  • industrialization
  • transportation logistics
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