Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people pf different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this?

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There are many things that can be helpful to make
people
in different cultures and different languages closer. And for sure,
music
is one of these things. The power of
music
is that it can easily open your mind to something new. I did not have any information about Russia until I started to hear their
music
.After that, I began to know the culture there. Only by
music
. And, in my opinion,
this
is really interesting. But to be more honest, sometimes the same power in
music
makes me stay away from a culture, so be sure to hear the best sounds of
music
when you hear them. Something else can be helpful to bring
people
closer. Is it the books or novels that may have the same impact as
music
, especially the type of books or novels that have descriptions of culture or
people
? I may understand why there are differences after reading. Or even be closer to them more and more, and that will bring love around the world.I read a quote before I said, I hate
this
person; I need to know him more. It showed us that the reason behind
hateing
Correct your spelling
hating
somebody is that you don't know him very well.So
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
advise anyone to know the
people
before
hateing
Correct your spelling
heating
them
Submitted by ahmedaziz9811 on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Work on your paragraph structure by separating ideas into distinct paragraphs. Use clear topic sentences to improve readability.
Task Achievement
Provide specific examples and detailed explanations to support your points better. This will enhance your argument and make your position clearer.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use more transitional phrases and linking words to create smoother flow between ideas. This will improve the overall coherence of your essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
Refine the conclusion to succinctly summarize your main points and restate your position.
Task Achievement
The personal anecdote about Russian music effectively illustrates the point that music can bridge cultural gaps.
Task Achievement
The essay provides a clear standpoint on the topic, showing a good level of engagement with the subject.
Task Achievement
Your writing shows an awareness of how different elements like music and literature can impact cultural understanding.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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