Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

People have varying opinions about whether

music

can be used to make individuals from different cultures or ages unite. I completely agree that

music

can unify people. First of all,

music

can be regarded as a global language in human society. It can break through some barriers existing between different languages or country boundaries, making it preferred by

music

lovers from all over the world.

For example

, it is difficult to buy a ticket for Taylor Swift's concert as she is incredibly popular worldwide. Most countries or regions are so pleased to invite her to hold a concert, increasing the domestic income.

In addition

, Jay Chou, a Chinese singer, produced a song named "Nunchakus," which has become a smash hit in the

western

Capitalize word

Western

show examples

world.

As a result

of that, an increasing number of

westerners

Capitalize word

Westerners

show examples

are interested in Chinese culture.

Secondly

music

has its own special glamour to attract people from all different age groups.

For instance

, in China, there is a

music

TV programme called "The Voice of

ina

Capitalize word

Ina

show examples

This

intriguing programme could bring every

family's

Change noun form

family

show examples

members

Fix the agreement mistake

member

show examples

together to have conversations, facilitating their emotional expressions and enhancing their relationships.

Furthermore

, good

music

can be passed from one generation to the

next,

such

as Boundless Oceans, a song from a band named Beyond.

This

song has existed for several decades;

however

, it is still preferred by most Chinese youngsters. In conclusion, my view is that

music

could unify

music

advocates, regardless

their

Change preposition

of their

show examples

cultures or age groups.

Submitted by 842623369 on Wed Jun 26 2024

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coherence

In the second paragraph, further elaborate on how international music events directly contribute to cultural unity to strengthen the argument.

cohesion

Linking words and phrases could be used more frequently to enhance the flow from one sentence to another.

task response

Although examples provided are strong, you could expand with one more detailed example to support the point fully.

introduction conclusion

Your introduction and conclusion are clear and effectively summarize your opinion.

logical structure

The logical structure of your essay is solid, and you present your ideas in a well-organized manner.

relevant examples

You provide relevant and specific examples to support your main points, which help to clarify your arguments.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

245 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

universal language
evoke
connect
diverse audiences
cultural exchange
generational gaps
shared experiences
unifying force

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Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Word Count

Some people say History is one of the important school subjects. Other think that, in todays world subject like Science and Technology are more important than History. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

Some people opine that increasing office hour is a reason for many social and personal problems and that is why it should be reduced to 35 hours in a week. What are the advantages and disadvantages of reducing the working week to 35 hours?

In some societies, more and more people are deciding to live alone. Why do you think this is? Do the advantages of living alone outweigh the disadvantages?

Nowadays, more people are choosing to socialize online rather than face to face. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some people believe that if a police force carries guns, this encourages higher level of violence in that society. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?