Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#people #music #cultures #ages

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People have varying opinions about whether

music

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can be used to make individuals from different cultures or ages unite. I completely agree that

music

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can unify people. First of all,

music

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can be regarded as a global language in human society. It can break through some barriers existing between different languages or country boundaries, making it preferred by

music

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lovers from all over the world.

For example

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, it is difficult to buy a ticket for Taylor Swift's concert as she is incredibly popular worldwide. Most countries or regions are so pleased to invite her to hold a concert, increasing the domestic income.

In addition

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, Jay Chou, a Chinese singer, produced a song named "Nunchakus," which has become a smash hit in the

western

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Western

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world.

As a result

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of that, an increasing number of

westerners

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Westerners

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are interested in Chinese culture.

Secondly

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music

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has its own special glamour to attract people from all different age groups.

For instance

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, in China, there is a

music

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TV programme called "The Voice of

ina

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Ina

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This

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intriguing programme could bring every

family's

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family

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members

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member

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together to have conversations, facilitating their emotional expressions and enhancing their relationships.

Furthermore

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, good

music

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can be passed from one generation to the

next,

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such

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as Boundless Oceans, a song from a band named Beyond.

This

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song has existed for several decades;

however

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, it is still preferred by most Chinese youngsters. In conclusion, my view is that

music

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could unify

music

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advocates, regardless

their

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of their

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cultures or age groups.

Submitted by 842623369 on Wed Jun 26 2024

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coherence

In the second paragraph, further elaborate on how international music events directly contribute to cultural unity to strengthen the argument.

cohesion

Linking words and phrases could be used more frequently to enhance the flow from one sentence to another.

task response

Although examples provided are strong, you could expand with one more detailed example to support the point fully.

introduction conclusion

Your introduction and conclusion are clear and effectively summarize your opinion.

logical structure

The logical structure of your essay is solid, and you present your ideas in a well-organized manner.

relevant examples

You provide relevant and specific examples to support your main points, which help to clarify your arguments.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

245 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

universal language
evoke
connect
diverse audiences
cultural exchange
generational gaps
shared experiences
unifying force

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Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Word Count

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