Do the dangers derived from the use of chemicals in food production and preservation outweigh the advantages?
Nowadays, chemical elements are an integral part of our foods. It is argued by some that the utilized
chemicals
in food production and preservation may cripple. In this
essay, I will consider difficulties in daily life or fatal consequences as one of the main drawbacks and longer
life span of foods as one of the primary Correct article usage
the longer
benefits
.
One of the principal disadvantages of chemicals
is probably they ruin human being’s body condition. It is Correct article usage
a
the
fact that accumulating Correct article usage
a
Change preposition
apply
of
harmful elements may cause some troubles. Change preposition
apply
For example
, heavy metals and organic pollutants possibly lead to a higher risk of cancer, Correct word choice
and nervous
nervous
system damage and Correct word choice
and nervous
a
high sugar content Remove the article
apply
Correct pronoun usage
that can
can
Correct pronoun usage
that can
Correct your spelling
affect
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
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apply
on
high blood pressure. Change preposition
apply
As a result
, people would experience a
Correct article usage
apply
headache
, dizziness, and stomach issues at best, and if they Fix the agreement mistake
headaches
would
not listen to their Verb problem
do
body
, fatal may happen at worst.
The main benefit of Fix the agreement mistake
bodies
chemicals
is an extension period of foods. In fact, some of them keep the quality at an appropriate level for longer
Add an article
a longer
Fix the agreement mistake
periods
period
. Fix the agreement mistake
periods
For instance
, sodium benzoate, calcium propionate, and potassium sorbate are used to prevent microbial growth that causes spoilage and to
slow changes in colour, texture, and flavour. Fix the infinitive
apply
As a consequence
, these benefits
can play a key role in food
business and people can preserve some food longer time.
In conclusion, the drawbacks of Add an article
the food
chemicals
may bring the
serious consequences Correct article usage
apply
in
human being’s health, which can change body condition slowly and must be weighed against the Change preposition
for
benefits
, such
as an extension period. Generally, the drawbacks outweigh the benefits
because effects
of Correct article usage
the effects
chemicals
act unhurriedly by accumulating some unnecessary elements.Submitted by dussip.rustem on
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task achievement
Although the essay introduces the topic and presents the central argument, more specific details and examples are needed to thoroughly support the main points. Try to provide more concrete evidence to strengthen the arguments.
coherence cohesion
The structure of the essay is logical and flows well, but the transition between paragraphs could be smoother. Consider using more transitional phrases to ensure a seamless connection between ideas.
language use
Some sentences have grammatical errors or awkward phrasing. Pay careful attention to sentence construction and grammatical accuracy to improve clarity and coherence.
task achievement
The introduction clearly presents the topic and outlines the main points to be discussed in the essay.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion summarizes the main points effectively and presents a clear stance on the issue.
task achievement
The essay uses relevant examples of chemicals and their benefits to support the argument effectively.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite