IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Some people believe social media is very important in our daily life, other believe it is waste of time. Discuss both the views and give your opinion

#people #media #life #waste #time
For the current generations, social
media
 is their preference.
However
. It is proposed as a double-edged weapon. Some
people
 admit
its
Change preposition
to its
show examples
 effective role every day. But others oppose the idea, and they see its true
color
Change the spelling
colour
show examples
 as a waste of time. In my point of view,
social
Correct article usage
the social
show examples
 internet community possesses its own power in communication and limiting efforts. Because of
this
, it is crucial for our routine. So,
this
 essay will discuss both sides in
regards
Fix the agreement mistake
regard
show examples
 to
this
 argument. On the one hand, various groups of
people
 count the drawbacks of social platforms.
For instance
, they try to show their destructive part in wasting time. parallelly, their overview
that
Add a missing verb
is that
show examples
 social
media
 creates poorly-minded
people
.
For example
; chatting on different platforms of social
media
, like Facebook, Instagram, Telegram, and WhatsApp, would
steel
Correct your spelling
steal
show examples
 time and isolate youth from
surroundings
Correct pronoun usage
their surroundings
show examples
. Intimately, the applications of communication control minds and convert their owner into
doll
Fix the agreement mistake
dolls
show examples
. Despite these cones, there is a merely bright side
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 social
media
 that we need to
put
Verb problem
keep
show examples
 in mind. have you ever been familiar with the benefits of social
media
? If your response is no, let me put you on the right track to expand your mind.
On the other hand
, you have the ability to contact massive numbers of
people
 via different applications anytime and anywhere.
Additionally
, you would achieve your online work, and earn money. I believe that social network takes initiative steps in promoting the general awareness of the individuals by exposing them to other nations'
culture
Fix the agreement mistake
cultures
show examples
.
Submitted by Mido  on

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introduction conclusion present
There needs to be a clear introduction and conclusion to frame the essay properly. This helps give the essay a complete structure.
relevant specific examples
Try to add more specific examples and details to support your main points. This helps in providing a stronger argument.
logical structure
Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and flows logically from one to the next. This enhances readability and comprehension.
clear comprehensive ideas
Some ideas are clear but could benefit from additional development and explanation. Adding a bit more detail can make your points more compelling.
complete response
You have attempted to discuss both views on the topic, which addresses the task well.
supported main points
Your effort to address both sides of the argument shows a balanced discussion.
supported main points
Including both benefits and drawbacks of social media shows good understanding of the topic.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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