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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The chart below shows the results of a survey about people’s coffee and tea buying and drinking habits in five Autralian cities. Summarise the inforamation by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the results of a survey about people’s coffee and tea buying and drinking habits in five Autralian cities. Summarise the inforamation by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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This
Linking Words
 bar chart illustrates the percentage of regular purchasing and consuming
coffee
Use synonyms
 and
tea
Use synonyms
 by Australian
people
Use synonyms
 in different cities.
Overall
Linking Words
, many
people
Use synonyms
 in Melbourne and
Hobart
Use synonyms
 went to a café for
coffee
Use synonyms
 and
tea
Use synonyms
 in the
last
Linking Words
 4
weeks
Use synonyms
.
Besides
Linking Words
, in Sydney and Melbourne, buying fresh
coffee
Use synonyms
 was more popular.
Also
Linking Words
, in
Hobart
Use synonyms
 and Brisbane, many residents bought instant
coffee
Use synonyms
. It can be seen that around 64% of
people
Use synonyms
 and 63% of them went to a café for
coffee
Use synonyms
 or
tea
Use synonyms
 in the
last
Linking Words
 4
weeks
Use synonyms
 in Melbourne and
Hobart
Use synonyms
 respectively,
while
Linking Words
 the lowest value was dedicated to Adelaide with just under 50% of
people
Use synonyms
. In Adelaide, 50% of individuals bought instant
coffee
Use synonyms
 in the
last
Linking Words
 4
weeks
Use synonyms
. Of course,
this
Linking Words
 amount of
people
Use synonyms
 was lower than Brisbane and
Hobart
Use synonyms
 with around 53% and about 54% respectively. By looking deeply at
this
Linking Words
 chart, many Australian
people
Use synonyms
 went to a café for
coffee
Use synonyms
 or
tea
Use synonyms
 in the
last
Linking Words
 4
weeks
Use synonyms
 in all cities except Adelaide. Plus, buying fresh
coffee
Use synonyms
 in the
last
Linking Words
 4
weeks
Use synonyms
 was unpopular in all cities.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words coffee, tea, people, hobart, weeks with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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