The governments investment in art such as music and theatre is a waste of money, government must invest money on public service instead. Do you agree or disagree?

#governments #investment #art #music #theatre #waste #money #government #service

‏In my opinion, to agree or disagree with the affidavit that The government's investment in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

art

such

as melody and troupe is a waste of capital, the government must invest payment in public service

instead

. Is an important issue to discuss.

First,

l will present arguments supporting

this

account after which some aspects against that will be discussed.

Submitted by [email protected] on Wed Jun 26 2024

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introduction conclusion present

You should aim to create a clearer and more engaging introduction. The current introduction is too wordy and a bit repetitive. Try to make it more concise and to the point.

supported main points

Ensure your arguments and points are well supported with specific examples. The essay lacks substantive examples to bolster the arguments.

logical structure

The logical structure of your essay can be improved by organizing your points into clear paragraphs. For instance, each paragraph should present a single idea or argument with supporting details.

introduction conclusion present

The essay introduces a common and relevant debate, acknowledging both sides of the argument.

clear comprehensive ideas

The language used, such as 'affidavit', 'melody', and 'troupe', adds a formal and sophisticated touch, which is appropriate for IELTS writing.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

1 paragraphs

58 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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The governments investment in art such as music and theatre is a waste of money, government must invest money on public service instead. Do you agree or disagree?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Some people think the government should pay for health care and education, but there is no agreement about whether it is the government’s responsibility. What is your opinion?

Women and men are commonly seen as having different strengths and weaknesses. Is it right to exclude males or females from certain professions because of their gender? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some people think that children should only read academic books. Others believe that reading books for pleasure is equally important. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

The internet has transformed the way information is shared and consumed, but it has also created problems that did not exist before. What are the most serious problems associated with the Internet and what solutions can you suggest?

Some people think that consumerism can boost the economy and create business and jobs. Others consider that society becomes a ‘throw-away society’ producing unnecessary waste. Discuss both views and give your opinion.