More and more people are using computers and electric devices to access information, therefore there is no need to print books, magazines and newspapers on paper. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It has been argued that since most
people
have adopted to
the modern technology of using electronic devices for data there is no need Change preposition
apply
of using
Change preposition
to use
paper work
Correct your spelling
paperwork
such
as the newspapers. I strongly disagree with the argument and I will discuss my reasons below.
Firstly
, most people
in the suburb
areas neither do they have electricity Replace the word
suburban
nor
generators to support Correct word choice
or
the
electronic devices. Change the word
their
This
means the only alternative method of accessing information is through the
Correct article usage
apply
papers
such
as magazines. For example
, study
conducted by students at the Nairobi University in Kenya proved that rural electrification is yet to take place in many parts of the country as many Add an article
a study
people
use candles and paraffin lamps as a source of light. Therefore
, a large population can not afford to maintain devices that uses
electricity in order to function.
Change the verb form
use
Nonetheless
, communities are resistant to change. This
means that since many decades ago they have been using information written on the paper for any updates and they do not see any need to convert to any other method. Additionally
, they believe papers
are comfortable and easy incase
one Correct your spelling
in case
want
to retrieve a past story written on them. Correct subject-verb agreement
wants
For instance
, in the year 2000, Daily
Newspaper was highly sold to families with Correct article usage
the Daily
the
elderly citizens in Embu County in Kenya because it was hard to convince them to watch Correct article usage
apply
news
on a computer or listen to Add an article
the news
a
radio. Correct article usage
the
This
makes paper work
to continue leading despite Correct your spelling
paperwork
of
the world being in the 21st century.
In summary, low level of income that makes it impossible to install power and Change preposition
apply
resistant
to change are the leading causes that Replace the word
resistance
makes
Change the verb form
make
people
to
continue with the use of Change the verb form
apply
papers
. I am of the opinion that regardless of electronic use, we should continue using the Fix the agreement mistake
paper
papers
to relay information.Submitted by janenjeru6 on
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clear comprehensive ideas
Your essay clearly conveys your stance on the topic, but it could be enhanced by sharpening the clarity and precision of your arguments. Some sentences could be rephrased for better readability and coherence. For example, instead of saying “This means the only alternative method of accessing information is through the papers such as magazines,” consider “Thus, printed materials like newspapers and magazines remain the primary sources of information.” This minor adjustment could make a significant difference in clarity.
complete response
Be mindful of small grammatical errors, such as the phrase “most people have adopted to the modern technology...” which should be “most people have adopted modern technology...”. Such improvements can make your essay more polished and professional.
supported main points
You can reinforce your argument by expanding on your second main point. Provide more detailed examples or extend your reasoning about why communities are resistant to change. This will add depth to your essay and make your argument more compelling.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction sets a clear direction for the essay, and you maintain a consistent standpoint throughout.
relevant specific examples
You utilized relevant and specific examples, such as the study at Nairobi University and the Daily Newspaper example, which bolster your arguments effectively.
logical structure
Your essay is organized into clear paragraphs, each addressing a distinct point, which helps the reader follow your line of reasoning.