IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

The plans below show a harbour in 2000 and how it looks today. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

#plans #show #harbour #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The provided maps illustrate some data related to the changes that occurred in 2000 and today.
Overall
, a glance at the maps reveals significant changes connected with the castle, fishing boats and docks. Various other developments with regard to cafes and shops, showers and toilets, and public
beach
Fix the agreement mistake
beaches
show examples
 are evident. Now, turning to the details, the castle was converted into a hotel and the public
beach
 was transformed into a private
beach
 that belongs to the hotel. The two areas with marina and fishing boats were switched places. Today there are 2 docks
instead
 of 1 in 2000 and 2 boats. It is interesting to note that the main roads were expanded and appeared more showers and toilets today.
Also
, there are cafes
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
shops, and lifeboats that there were not in 2000. It is worth noticing that the car park and passenger ferries have remained unchanged
as well as
 the public
beach
 in the north of the port.
Submitted by sofina.elena2014 on

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task response
The essay provides a complete and fairly clear response to the task, but could benefit from a more structured approach. Consider using separate paragraphs for different main features to improve clarity and readability.
coherence and cohesion
The logical structure is generally good, with clear comparisons and contrasts. However, the introduction could be more specific, and a concluding sentence summarizing the main changes would enhance coherence.
task response
Some details are effectively highlighted, but the essay could be improved by consistently sticking to the third-person perspective and avoiding vague statements like 'it is interesting to note.' Instead, describe the changes clearly and precisely.
task response
The main features and changes are identified and compared effectively.
task response
The essay provides relevant and specific examples, which helps in understanding the changes described in the maps.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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