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Band 6

Many young people move out of their homes to live alone or to live with their friends. Some people think this is a good idea. Do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#people #move #homes #friends #idea
Yes i think so becasue living away from home or in another
city
 to study have a big affect on the student mind and well make him stronger mentally and socially
also
 he will have a thing to remember always aslo its a great experience to have bit i think if the university you want to attend is in your
city
 i see there is no need to move out because as student you have to focus to your study not anything else so you will have to save money so let's talk about the disadvabtages if you move away form your
city
 to another
city
 you will miss your family the
city
 your frindes the places you loved and always go to
also
 it will be hard for you to live there at first becaue its a new place you never lived here new people new home new language it will be hard your harte will never stop thinking about your
city
 you will miss evre thing there but whenever you graduate you will be the happiest preson in the wohle world you will make everyone proud of you becace they what you have to deal with to be here so the thing i want to say it best for you to study away if you can it's experience that you will regret if you missed it but i recommend it if the school is not in your
city
 if it in your
city
 i see no need to mov out
Submitted by azaxz039 on

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coherence cohesion
You need to improve the structure of your essay. Start with a clear introduction and end with a conclusion that summarizes your main points. This will help provide a logical flow to your ideas.
task achievement
Support your statements with relevant and specific examples. This will make your argument more convincing and comprehensive.
task achievement
Work on your language accuracy. There are several grammatical errors and spelling mistakes that detract from the clarity of your essay. Proofreading your work can help address these issues.
coherence cohesion
Separate your ideas into paragraphs. Each paragraph should discuss a single main point. This will make your essay easier to follow and more coherent. Use linking phrases to connect your ideas.
task achievement
Your essay covers the main points related to the topic, providing both advantages and disadvantages of moving out.
task achievement
You show a good ability to discuss different aspects of the topic, considering both the positive and negative sides.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
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