IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

You live in a house opposite a park. Every day a man brings large dogs to the park and lets them run free. Write a letter to your local council complaining about the danger.? In your letter: - say where the park is, - say how often this happens - give a description of the man and the dogs.

#house #park #man #dogs #council #danger #description
Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing
this
 letter to
impress
Verb problem
express
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 my dissatisfaction
for
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with
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 a man who affects the public environment and the safety of citizens. First of all, I met
his
Correct pronoun usage
him
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 in an ecological public park around my house at 156 Lilin venues. At the same time, I often met
his
Correct pronoun usage
him
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 when after I
have
Wrong verb form
had
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 finished dinner as I love to go running at
this
 time.
Secondly
,
rely
Wrong verb form
relying
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 on safety issues for individuals and folks, there are some facts that I want to tell you. He has a black fat
dog
.
Although
 pets are extremely cute, the owner has
a
Correct article usage
apply
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bad behavior
that
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in that
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 he
is
Verb problem
does
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 not use
string
Fix the agreement mistake
strings
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 to control his
dog
.
This
 results in some people
those
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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who are afraid of animals into a sense of danger. In fact, I often
can
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apply
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hear some strangers remind
the
Correct article usage
apply
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men that
he
Correct pronoun usage
they
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 should
to maintain
Verb problem
keep
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his
Correct pronoun usage
their
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dog
Fix the agreement mistake
dogs
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 under control. Unfortunately, I did not discover any actions by
this
 man.
One
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On
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 the other hand, I believe that he should take his
dog
 to the pet park to enjoy freedom.
Finally
, I hope you guys can adopt some solutions for our safety problems
about
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regarding
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those
Correct determiner usage
apply
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pets
Change the noun form
pet
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 management. I am looking forward to hearing from you, and if you any
further
 information, please do not hesitate to contact me, as I am pleased to supply it. Yours faithfully, Xiyue Tang
Submitted by cyh000823 on

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task achievement
Make sure to clearly specify the dangerous nature of the man's behavior in relation to the dogs. Detailing specific incidents can strengthen your complaint.
coherence cohesion
Consider improving sentence structure and grammar to enhance clarity. For instance, 'meets his' should be 'meets him' and 'a black fat dog' could be more descriptively written.
coherence cohesion
The letter follows a clear structure with an introduction, body, and conclusion.
task achievement
The tone of the letter is appropriate and polite, which is fitting for a formal complaint.
coherence cohesion
Each paragraph addresses different aspects of the issue, contributing to coherence and cohesion.
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