In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport.
The issue of
children
making decisions
on personal matters has garnered significant attention in recent years. While
some argue that permitting children
to make their own choices on everyday matters can create a society
of ambitious people
who only think about themselves, others believe that it is very important to consider children
's opinions on issues
that affect them. This
essay will discuss both views and the writer explains his own idea.
To commence with the first idea, considering that some people
think that if they allow children
to make decisions
about their personal issues
, it will lead to the formation of a society
of people
who only think about their dreams, although
if they are not allowed to make decisions
about their personal issues
, it will lead to the formation of A society
of bored, nervous and depressed people
. For example
, consider the country of North Korea, where people
are not allowed to try on their favorite
clothes, do whatever their government tells them to do, often are not allowed to own cars, and everyone has to go into long-term military service. Change the spelling
favourite
As a result
of all these mentioned cases, it creates a depressed society
with many mental and psychological problems.
On the flip side, some people
believe that children
's opinions should be taken into account when making decisions
about their personal issues
that affect their present and future lives because this
will create a society
of happy and energetic people
in the future. For example
, if we consider the countries of Europe and North America, I see that by giving people
the right to choose in their personal matters, the governments formed a society
of creative, intelligent, and motivated people
.
To conclude
, allowing children
to make their own decisions
about their personal and daily issues
not only creates a society
of people
who only think about their wishes but also
creates a creative and useful society
.Submitted by amirghhhhhh1999 on
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complete response
While the essay discusses both views and provides examples, some of the ideas could be expanded further. Specifically, the comparison between countries could delve deeper into how exactly allowing children to make decisions leads to a more creative society.
clear comprehensive ideas
Some sentences are quite long and might benefit from being broken down into shorter, clearer statements. This would enhance clarity and make the essay more comprehensible.
relevant specific examples
It would be useful to provide examples that directly relate to children's decisions, rather than focusing broadly on societal examples.
introduction conclusion present
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the discussion. This helps in clearly presenting the writer's stance.
logical structure
There is a logical flow to the arguments, with each paragraph focusing on a separate viewpoint which is generally in line with IELTS standards.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.