Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route tosuccessful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straightafter school. Discuss both views.
There is a great deal of debate concerning what is the best path to pursue a career nowadays.
Although
many people think it is most effective to get a job after schooling, I strongly support those who believe that holding a degree from a university
is beneficial.
On the one hand, supporters of jobs
after school highlight that it is cost-effective and time-efficient. For instance
, in some cases where students who graduate from vocational schools, they
tend to look for Correct pronoun usage
apply
jobs
directly after finishing their courses and start working to build experience in that specific field as well as
develop valuable skills. To them, such
a motive is considered an investment as no time is wasted in higher-education
once they know what they want to specialise in. Correct your spelling
higher education
Therefore
, giving all their time and attention to that specific job will lead to a bright future.
By contrast
, others argue that pursuing a higher-education
in the Correct your spelling
education
university
provides better job opportunities. Recent studies have shown that most people who hold university
degrees,
are more likely to secure Remove the comma
apply
jobs
in industries and companies with high reputations. Moreover
, crtics
highlight that Correct your spelling
critics
univeristies
not only pave the way to better Correct your spelling
universities
jobs
, Correct word choice
but it
it
may Correct pronoun usage
they
also
enlighten students
minds by exposing them to more than one course Change noun form
students'
student's
that is
irrelevant to their domains.Therefore
, consequently
help
them navigate their personal interests Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
as well as
make
them well-rounded.
In conclusion, Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
although
some individuals believe it is beneficial to start working after school to avoid wasting time and built
enough experience in one field, it seems more reasonable to side with holding a Wrong verb form
build
university
degree that can potentially grant reputable jobs
in the future. As it appears to be convencing
to gain Correct your spelling
convenient
the
knowledge before building experiences.Correct article usage
apply
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Task Achievement
Ensure your arguments are well-developed with clear, specific examples. For instance, provide concrete details about vocational schools or industries demanding degree holders.
Coherence and Cohesion
Try to improve the clarity and flow of ideas. Avoid complex sentences that could be rewritten for better readability.
Grammar and Vocabulary
Be careful with grammar and spelling errors. Pay attention to plural/singular agreement and typos like 'convencing' instead of 'convincing'.
Task Achievement
The essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion, making it easy to understand your stance on the topic.
Coherence and Cohesion
The use of transitional phrases such as ‘on the one hand’ and ‘by contrast’ demonstrates a good understanding of organizational structure.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay does address both views of the argument, showing a balanced discussion.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?