IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route tosuccessful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straightafter school. Discuss both views.

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There is a great deal of debate concerning what is the best path to pursue a career nowadays.
Although
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 many people think it is most effective to get a job after schooling, I strongly support those who believe that holding a degree from a
university
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 is beneficial. On the one hand, supporters of
jobs
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 after school highlight that it is cost-effective and time-efficient.
For instance
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, in some cases where students who graduate from vocational schools,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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tend to look for
jobs
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 directly after finishing their courses and start working to build experience in that specific field
as well as
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 develop valuable skills. To them,
such
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 a motive is considered an investment as no time is wasted in
higher-education
Correct your spelling
higher education
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 once they know what they want to specialise in.
Therefore
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, giving all their time and attention to that specific job will lead to a bright future.
By contrast
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, others argue that pursuing a
higher-education
Correct your spelling
education
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 in the
university
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 provides better job opportunities. Recent studies have shown that most people who hold
university
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 degrees
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 are more likely to secure
jobs
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 in industries and companies with high reputations.
Moreover
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,
crtics
Correct your spelling
critics
 highlight that
univeristies
Correct your spelling
universities
 not only pave the way to better
jobs
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,
Correct word choice
but it
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it
Correct pronoun usage
they
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 may
also
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 enlighten
students
Change noun form
students'
student's
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 minds by exposing them to more than one course
that is
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 irrelevant to their domains.
Therefore
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,
consequently
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help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
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 them navigate their personal interests
as well as
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make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
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 them well-rounded. In conclusion,
although
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 some individuals believe it is beneficial to start working after school to avoid wasting time and
built
Wrong verb form
build
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 enough experience in one field, it seems more reasonable to side with holding a
university
Use synonyms
 degree that can potentially grant reputable
jobs
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 in the future. As it appears to be
convencing
Correct your spelling
convenient
 to gain
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
knowledge before building experiences.

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Task Achievement
Ensure your arguments are well-developed with clear, specific examples. For instance, provide concrete details about vocational schools or industries demanding degree holders.
Coherence and Cohesion
Try to improve the clarity and flow of ideas. Avoid complex sentences that could be rewritten for better readability.
Grammar and Vocabulary
Be careful with grammar and spelling errors. Pay attention to plural/singular agreement and typos like 'convencing' instead of 'convincing'.
Task Achievement
The essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion, making it easy to understand your stance on the topic.
Coherence and Cohesion
The use of transitional phrases such as ‘on the one hand’ and ‘by contrast’ demonstrates a good understanding of organizational structure.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay does address both views of the argument, showing a balanced discussion.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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