IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

A friend has agreed to look after your house and pet while you are on holiday. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter: •give contact details for when you are away •give instructions on how to care for your pet •describe other household duties You should write at least 150 words. You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ..................,

#friend #house #pet #holiday #•give #contact #instructions #care #•describe #household #duties #addresses
Dear Alfian, I hope you and your family are
good
Correct word choice
apply
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healthy, I am writing
this
 letter to inform you that I want to leave my private house
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
out side
Correct your spelling
outside
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 to go
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 holiday with all of my big family to the beach in Mataram, and please keep my private animal. Before I go
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
out side
Correct your spelling
outside
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from
Change preposition
of
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 my home, I have a number phone and I will give you
for
Change preposition
apply
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you
Correct pronoun usage
it
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easy
Correct word choice
apply
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to tell me what you want and
give
Verb problem
tell
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 me what
happend
Correct your spelling
happened
 in my private
haouse
Correct your spelling
house
.
On the other hand
, I have some
pet
Fix the agreement mistake
pets
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 In my home that pet
such
 as
cat
Correct article usage
a cat
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 and
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
, so that way I will give you some tutor
of keep
Change preposition
on keeping
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 my animals like, you should give
their
Change the pronoun
them
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 for eating
such
 as
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 food and drinks.
Also
Add a comma
Also,
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 you must take
bath
Correct article usage
a bath
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 my pet.
In addition
, you must do anything work in
may
Correct your spelling
my
show examples
 private house like, you must clean the living room, and you should
disses
Change the verb form
diss
show examples
 the plate, water the flowers and other. thank you for your attention and advance and I am looking forward to hearing you soon
Your
Correct the word
Yours
show examples
 Sincerely SAPARWADI.
Submitted by patricius.yohanes on

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coherence cohesion
Try to improve the overall logical flow of your letter by organizing your points more clearly and using appropriate linking words.
task achievement
Ensure that your instructions are easy to understand by using proper grammar and phrasing.
task achievement
You have provided all the necessary contact details and instructions on how to care for your pet.
suitable writing tone
Your tone is friendly and respectful, which is appropriate for the context of writing to a friend.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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