In some cultures, children’s are often told they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

In
the
Remove the article
apply
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some
countires
Correct your spelling
countries
, parents and teachers provide
the
Correct article usage
apply
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opportunities to the kids and young
poeple
Correct your spelling
people
because parents believe that their
children
can complete
the
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apply
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any
tasks
Fix the agreement mistake
task
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if they
are
Verb problem
find it
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hard work to do
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
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. In my opinion, it brings some benefits and
weaks
Correct your spelling
weeks
for
children
. In the following
eassy
Correct your spelling
essay
, I will discuss a pro and a con about
this
statment
Correct your spelling
statement
. The
statment
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statement
is
improved
Verb problem
to improve
show examples
children
's
skills
in different stages. Nowadays, the new generation
children
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of children
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is
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are
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unskillful, which is labelled by
the
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apply
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society,
becuase
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because
they cannot handle and complete
some
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apply
show examples
centain
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certain
missions. Some employers
emphaized
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emphasise
that
the
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apply
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youngsters cannot face
the
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apply
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problem
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problems
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,
such
as writing
proposal
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proposals
show examples
and
discussion
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discussing
show examples
with customers, in the workplace. I think
children
should try hard enough since they learn
the
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apply
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differnet
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different
skills
,
such
as communication
skills
,
problem
-solving
skills
and
calucation
Correct your spelling
calculation
skills
. If they leave their
confidentable
Correct your spelling
confidential
confidently
area, they grow up in both mental
staageand
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stage and
knowledge
staage
Correct your spelling
stage
storage
.
Finally
, they will gain
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
various experience and abilities.
Therefore
, the advantage of
giveing
Correct your spelling
giving
children
the idea is increasing them to be
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
skillful people.
Nonetheless
,
children
will face the risk in physical or mental. As we know
that
Correct word choice
apply
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children
cannot face and tackle
the
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apply
show examples
difficult
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
or
situation
Fix the agreement mistake
situations
show examples
. If they are brave
to
Rephrase
enough to
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complete the unstable task, they will be hurt.
For instance
, they will
be punish
Change the verb form
be punished
show examples
when they
lost
Wrong verb form
lose
show examples
the
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apply
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important
custumers
Correct your spelling
customers
, who bring
the
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apply
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mass income
for
Change preposition
to
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the company. After the punishment, they might have
the
Correct article usage
a
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negative mindset, as
why
Change preposition
to why
show examples
I am
a rubbish
Remove the article
rubbish
a pile of rubbish
show examples
, so
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
they will hurt themselves or stay at home, which
lead
Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
show examples
them to become
a
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apply
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problem
people.
Hence
, when they deal with or handle the
problem
incompletely, they will have
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
negative
attiude
Correct your spelling
attitude
. It is disadvantaged for their mental
helth
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health
or body.
To conclude
,
this
message is a
two-sides
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two-sided
show examples
influcence
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influence
for
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on
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children
. Not
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
only try to do simple or different tasks, but they
also
have a more impressive experience and helpful learning in their life.
Submitted by borishim0614 on

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grammar
Work on language accuracy, including subject-verb agreement and proper use of articles, to make your essay more grammatically correct.
idea development
Develop one or two points more fully rather than briefly touching on many. This will improve the depth of your ideas.
structure
Consider structuring each paragraph more clearly with a topic sentence, supporting sentences, and a concluding sentence for better coherence.
content
The essay covers both advantages and disadvantages, which shows a good understanding of the topic.
conclusion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points, providing a succinct end to the essay.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Motivation
  • Ambition
  • Persevere
  • Setbacks
  • Self-confidence
  • Growth mindset
  • Dedication
  • Effort
  • Unrealistic expectations
  • Feelings of failure
  • Neglect
  • Personal well-being
  • Burnout
  • Fixed mindset
  • Discouragement
  • Lose motivation
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