It is not necessary for people to travel to other places and learn about their culture. We can learn as much as from books, film and television. To what extent do you agree or disagree

#people #travel #places #culture #books #film #television

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this

Linking Words

present world

community

Fix the agreement mistake

communities

show examples

Add a missing verb

have more

show examples

choices to stay at home than go outside for

travel

Use synonyms

. I totally agree with the statement and will be stating some points to support my agreement.

Further

Linking Words

This

Linking Words

essay will be discussing travelling can

spend

Verb problem

cost

show examples

money

Use synonyms

and learn to save

money

Use synonyms

However

Linking Words

, some

people

Use synonyms

think

traveling

Change the spelling

travelling

show examples

to another

countrycountry

Correct your spelling

country country

can cost

money

Use synonyms

because when

community

Correct article usage

a community

show examples

want to

travel

Use synonyms

to another

countrycountry

Correct your spelling

country country

must buy

such

Linking Words

ticket

Correct article usage

a ticket

show examples

, get

passport

Correct article usage

a passport

show examples

, clothes and other.

For instance

Linking Words

, Andi will go to Singapore so he must available much

money

Use synonyms

to buy a ticket, eat, drink, fruit and book a hotel. So if some

people

Use synonyms

want to go anywhere they should have a lot of

money

Use synonyms

and have free time.

Moreover

Linking Words

, some

people

Use synonyms

have more choices to stay at home to

travel

Use synonyms

by book,

film

Use synonyms

and television because they can save

money

Use synonyms

because other

people

Use synonyms

think we can go anywhere without going outside. It means

people

Use synonyms

can read books or watch movies they can look

whatever

Change preposition

at whatever

show examples

is there in the world.

Such

Linking Words

as like Dian wants to visit Paris country, she can watch the

film

Use synonyms

LOVE IN PARIS. The

film

Use synonyms

shows many places in Paris without going there. So

This

Linking Words

is the best choice for travelling without spending our

money

Use synonyms

. In conclusion, Travelling by books,

film

Use synonyms

and television is the best choice for other

people

Use synonyms

, who want to go or visit another

countrycountry

Correct your spelling

country country

dosen't

Correct your spelling

doesn't

show examples

have

money

Use synonyms

and you can

learn

Add the particle

learn to

show examples

include about the culture. So My Prediction is in the future

people

Use synonyms

more choose to watch films rather than go outside to

travel

Use synonyms

Submitted by patricius.yohanes on Thu Jun 27 2024

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introduction conclusion

Ensure your introduction clearly outlines the topic and provides a clear thesis statement. The current introduction is quite brief and lacks this clarity.

supported main points

Expand your points with more depth and examples. The points made are relevant but need further development and more comprehensive support.

logical structure

Use a wider range of cohesive devices to improve the flow of ideas. This will make your essay easier to follow and understand.

clear comprehensive ideas

Avoid repeating words and phrases unnecessarily. For example, using 'travelling' and 'country' multiple times. Use synonyms or rephrase sentences to maintain the reader's interest.

relevant specific examples

The essay does provide specific examples which help to illustrate the points made.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

263 words

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It is not necessary for people to travel to other places and learn about their culture. We can learn as much as from books, film and television. To what extent do you agree or disagree

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Many museums and historical sites are mainly visited by tourists but not local people. Why is this the case? What can be done to attract more local people to these museums?

sports play important tole both mentally and physically

Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Nowadays, people have developed poor eating habits and do not eat a balanced diet. What are the reasons behind this? Suggest possible solutions to control this.