Compare new and old generation's interests you can mention. Advantages and disadvantages of their interest.

Old
people
and youth
generations
have many
interests
that perhaps have a scant number of differences together. In the modern world, many
interests
have been changed between these
generations
. The greatest benefit of these
hobbies
is sharing their
ideas
experiences and knowledge of different
hobbies
.
On the other hand
, we can observe that
Correct article usage
the challenging
show examples
challenging
Replace the word
challenge
show examples
of culture and lack of mutual understanding are the significant weak points. Having different
interests
between two different ages can have some
advantages
. One of the biggest
advantages
is
shared share
Wrong verb form
sharing
show examples
their
ideas
and experiences. Many old
people
are interested in vintage interesting. Because these
hobbies
belonged to them when they were young.
For instance
, these days hardly every young person listens to the radio.
Although
many older
generations
listening to
this
device. Because they can feel that radio belongs to their young decade and
this
device came to markets when they were young. Another advantage is knowledge of different
hobbies
. Many vintage
people
have old
interests
such
as reading books and newspapers or writing a paper mail for their friends. On the other wise young
people
have extremely different
hobbies
like surfing the internet or chatting on social networks with their friends.
Furthermore
, working with these various
hobbies
makes a benefit knowledge these types of
people
can share together and learn these
hobbies
.
However
, different interesting have
advantages
, we can observe some weak points. The most significant drawback is the challenge of culture. Numerous young
people
cannot understand old
people
's
hobbies
. many of them believe that these
hobbies
are expired and the modern world cannot stand them.
For example
, many
people
who want to read books or newspapers, prefer that read them by surfing the internet or digital devices.
In addition
, many older
generations
cannot work with these devices. So the atmosphere of these
hobbies
is so different and makes a different challenge. Another disadvantage is the lack of mutual understanding. In the modern world, the new and vintage
generations
cannot be understood together.
for instance
Add a comma
,
show examples
numerous young
people
want to have a partner for their life or drink wine at parties. But some religious old
people
cannot stand these
hobbies
. In conclusion, we can observe many different
hobbies
for new and old
people
. if the vintage and youth generation get an understanding of their
hobbies
, they will understand and solve the different
ideas
together. I believe that the
advantages
are worth than disadvantages and they can share their experiences and
ideas
.
Submitted by mohsen.souri93 on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Work on enhancing your essay's logical structure by ensuring each paragraph has a clear main idea and supporting details that relate directly to the topic. This will improve the coherence and help the reader follow your argument more easily.
Task Achievement
Focus on providing more specific examples that directly support your main points. This will strengthen your arguments and demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic.
Task Achievement
Ensure that your ideas are clear and comprehensive. This can be achieved by elaborating on each point to provide a thorough explanation and by avoiding vague statements.
Coherence and Cohesion
You have a well-defined introduction and conclusion, which create a complete response to the prompt. This helps frame your essay and guide the reader through your arguments.
Task Achievement
Your essay addresses the differences in interests between the old and new generations comprehensively, touching upon multiple aspects of the topic. This shows a good understanding of the subject.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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