IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Compare new and old generation's interests you can mention. Advantages and disadvantages of their interest.

Old
people
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 and youth
generations
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 have many
interests
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 that perhaps have a scant number of differences together. In the modern world, many
interests
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 have been changed between these
generations
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. The greatest benefit of these
hobbies
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 is sharing their
ideas
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 experiences and knowledge of different
hobbies
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.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, we can observe that
Correct article usage
the challenging
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challenging
Replace the word
challenge
show examples
of culture and lack of mutual understanding are the significant weak points. Having different
interests
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 between two different ages can have some
advantages
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. One of the biggest
advantages
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 is
shared share
Wrong verb form
sharing
show examples
 their
ideas
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 and experiences. Many old
people
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 are interested in vintage interesting. Because these
hobbies
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 belonged to them when they were young.
For instance
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, these days hardly every young person listens to the radio.
Although
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 many older
generations
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 listening to
this
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 device. Because they can feel that radio belongs to their young decade and
this
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 device came to markets when they were young. Another advantage is knowledge of different
hobbies
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. Many vintage
people
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 have old
interests
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such
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 as reading books and newspapers or writing a paper mail for their friends. On the other wise young
people
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 have extremely different
hobbies
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 like surfing the internet or chatting on social networks with their friends.
Furthermore
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, working with these various
hobbies
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 makes a benefit knowledge these types of
people
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 can share together and learn these
hobbies
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.
However
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, different interesting have
advantages
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, we can observe some weak points. The most significant drawback is the challenge of culture. Numerous young
people
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 cannot understand old
people
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's
hobbies
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. many of them believe that these
hobbies
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 are expired and the modern world cannot stand them.
For example
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, many
people
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 who want to read books or newspapers, prefer that read them by surfing the internet or digital devices.
In addition
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, many older
generations
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 cannot work with these devices. So the atmosphere of these
hobbies
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 is so different and makes a different challenge. Another disadvantage is the lack of mutual understanding. In the modern world, the new and vintage
generations
Use synonyms
 cannot be understood together.
for instance
Linking Words
Add a comma
,
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numerous young
people
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 want to have a partner for their life or drink wine at parties. But some religious old
people
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 cannot stand these
hobbies
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. In conclusion, we can observe many different
hobbies
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 for new and old
people
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. if the vintage and youth generation get an understanding of their
hobbies
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, they will understand and solve the different
ideas
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 together. I believe that the
advantages
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 are worth than disadvantages and they can share their experiences and
ideas
Use synonyms
.

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Coherence and Cohesion
Work on enhancing your essay's logical structure by ensuring each paragraph has a clear main idea and supporting details that relate directly to the topic. This will improve the coherence and help the reader follow your argument more easily.
Task Achievement
Focus on providing more specific examples that directly support your main points. This will strengthen your arguments and demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic.
Task Achievement
Ensure that your ideas are clear and comprehensive. This can be achieved by elaborating on each point to provide a thorough explanation and by avoiding vague statements.
Coherence and Cohesion
You have a well-defined introduction and conclusion, which create a complete response to the prompt. This helps frame your essay and guide the reader through your arguments.
Task Achievement
Your essay addresses the differences in interests between the old and new generations comprehensively, touching upon multiple aspects of the topic. This shows a good understanding of the subject.
Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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