Some people believe that violence on television and in computer games has a damaging effect on the society. Others deny that these factors have any significant influence in people’s behavior. What is your opinion?
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Whereas
some people agree that the increase in violent scenes
that we watch on TV
and Computer
games
are
affecting our community, other groups believe Correct subject-verb agreement
is
that is
not impacting our feelings
and behaviors
. Change the spelling
behaviours
This
essay believes that, nowadays, violence has become more common in TV
and video games
. As a result
, it generates a negative effect on society
's feelings
and behaviors
. Change the spelling
behaviours
This
is because,
children have been getting Remove the comma
apply
access
to violent video games
since an early stage of their lives, therefore
, they could interpret violent scenes
as normal. On top of that, we have noticed an increase in violence through TV
, mainly news TV
shows, resulting in a negative impact on TV
consumers's feelings
.
To begin
with, society
has granted access
to young kids to violent computer
games
, without considering the negative impact on their growth and behaviour. Nowadays, 5-year-old kids are playing games
such
as GTA San Andreas or Call of Duty. Access
to this
kind of computer
games
in the early stages of growth impacts negatively Fix the agreement mistake
game
in
children's interpretation of reality. Change preposition
apply
As a result
, some of them can assume violent game situations as normal. Recently, research concluded, that 25% of American Kids (Under 8 years old) have access
to violent scenes
in video games
, and 20% of them will grow considering normal violent scenes
.
On the other hand
, TV
is not helping either. During the last
few years, violent scenes
have been displayed more, affecting their consumers. The main culprits in this
are the News channels. In order to obtain a raise in their rating levels, they show us more and more negative scenes
, however
, these
"bad news" Correct determiner usage
this
are
impacting our Correct subject-verb agreement
is
society
, increasing levels of anxiety, depression and other negative feelings
. For instance
, in Argentina, older people (Main TV
consumers) are over-worried about every situation, and this
is the result of TV
exaggeration.
To conclude
, this
essay believes that the increased levels of violent scenes
in TV
and Computer
Games
are affecting our society
in a negative way. The main victims of this
are children and old people.Submitted by tomasmutilva99 on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure more seamless connections between paragraphs to improve logical flow.
task achievement
Provide a more nuanced discussion by considering counterarguments to strengthen your task response.
coherence cohesion
Refine and correct minor grammatical errors to enhance clarity.
task achievement
Clear stance on the topic is presented in the introduction and reaffirmed in the conclusion.
task achievement
Relevant and specific examples are provided to support main points, enhancing the argument.
coherence cohesion
Well-organized paragraphs with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
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