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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The diagrams below show a public park when it first opened in 1920 and the same park today. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagrams below show a public park when it first opened in 1920 and the same park today. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#diagrams #show #park #first #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The map illustrates the transformation of Grange
Park
Use synonyms
 when it was first established in 1920 and its layout in the present time.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, the
park
Use synonyms
 in 1920 had an entrance on the top and bottom middle area near Arnold Avenue and Eldon Street.
Then
Linking Words
, it had a fountain located in the centre of the
park
Use synonyms
along with
Linking Words
 a stage for musicians on the left side of the fountain. It was
also
Linking Words
 surrounded by seats and rose gardens in every
corner
Use synonyms
 of the
park
Use synonyms
 except at the bottom
right
Use synonyms
corner
Use synonyms
 where there was a glasshouse. Today, the
park
Use synonyms
 has undergone several changes. It has an additional entrance underground car
park
Use synonyms
 on the
right
Use synonyms
corner
Use synonyms
.
Next,
Linking Words
the fountain is replaced with a rose garden, which is surrounded by benches. On the west side, there is a new facility, an amphitheatre for concerts.
Lastly
Linking Words
, there is a new cafe and children's play area in the top
right
Use synonyms
corner
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 and a water feature in the bottom
right
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corner
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.
To conclude
Linking Words
, the
park
Use synonyms
 has undergone a huge renovation which mainly focuses on adding new facilities.
Submitted by kelly on

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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words park, corner, right with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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