In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. 🔸What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

#cultures #children #🔸what #message

These

day

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days

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children have a lot of screen time that

effect

Verb problem

affects

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their reading and writing skills.

This

essay completely agrees with that statement. I believe the parents

concerned

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are concerned

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about their children forgetting their expertise by playing video games or watching videos. Young people spend a lot of time playing video

game

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games

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Remove the comma

apply

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PlayStation or

xbox

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Xbox

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. They don’t practice

to read

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reading

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write so

Wrong verb form

writing

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they

Correct word choice

so they

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lose

this

knowledge. Because of the lack of time

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for

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him. For that reason, They must arrange their schedules.

Moreover

, Parents should force him to study at least one hour a day. Plus, tell them

this

important

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is important

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to their future.

This

happened to my cousin. He used to game on the

playstation

Correct your spelling

PlayStation

throughout the day.

As a result

, he

misremember

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misremembers

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the essential ability. Teenagers using mobile devices to view content on

youtube

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YouTube

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tiktok

Correct your spelling

TikTok

and Netflix. They just listen and see, don’t study or record anything.

Therefore

, An adult can tell them to record what they observe to practice. In

adition

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addition

, make them review the novel of the series , it’s more interesting. I am an example of

this

myself. I am a junkie series,

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view

espiodes

Correct your spelling

episodes

daily . In that case,

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fail to remember the

spiling

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spelling

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of ordinary words or how to structure sentences correctly. In conclusion, children consume

daytime

Correct pronoun usage

their daytime

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Utilizing

smartphone

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smartphones

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by playing games or watching video

that

Correct pronoun usage

which

show examples

affect

the

Change the word

their

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reading and writing

skill

Fix the agreement mistake

skills

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Submitted by ananalmahyawi on Thu Jun 27 2024

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task response

Ensure your essay stays focused on the specific question, more thoroughly addressing both the advantages and disadvantages of the idea presented.

coherence and cohesion

Strengthen the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs. Consider using a clearer structure with topic sentences and linking phrases.

general

Proofread to correct minor language mistakes, such as misspellings and grammar errors, to enhance clarity and professionalism in writing.

general

Provides relevant examples to support key points.

task response

Uses personal experience to explain ideas, making the essay more relatable and engaging.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
25Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

232 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. 🔸What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Fully explain your ideas

Is it better to live in an urban or rural area? What is your opinion?

In some countries an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is therefore necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. To what extent do you agree with this option?

The tendency of human beings to copy one another is shown in the popularity of fashion in clothes and other consumer goods. Do you agree or disagree?

Many people say that globalisation and the growing number of multinational companies have a negative effect on the environment. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?