In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. 🔸What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

#cultures #children #🔸what #message

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These

day

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days

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children have a lot of screen time that

effect

Verb problem

affects

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their reading and writing skills.

This

Linking Words

essay completely agrees with that statement. I believe the parents

concerned

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are concerned

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about their children forgetting their expertise by playing video games or watching videos. Young people spend a lot of time playing video

game

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games

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Remove the comma

apply

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PlayStation or

xbox

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Xbox

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. They don’t practice

to read

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reading

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write so

Wrong verb form

writing

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they

Correct word choice

so they

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lose

this

Linking Words

knowledge. Because of the lack of time

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for

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him. For that reason, They must arrange their schedules.

Moreover

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, Parents should force him to study at least one hour a day. Plus, tell them

this

Linking Words

important

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is important

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to their future.

This

Linking Words

happened to my cousin. He used to game on the

playstation

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PlayStation

throughout the day.

As a result

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, he

misremember

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misremembers

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the essential ability. Teenagers using mobile devices to view content on

youtube

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YouTube

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tiktok

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TikTok

and Netflix. They just listen and see, don’t study or record anything.

Therefore

Linking Words

, An adult can tell them to record what they observe to practice. In

adition

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addition

, make them review the novel of the series , it’s more interesting. I am an example of

this

Linking Words

myself. I am a junkie series,

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view

espiodes

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episodes

daily . In that case,

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fail to remember the

spiling

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spelling

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of ordinary words or how to structure sentences correctly. In conclusion, children consume

daytime

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their daytime

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Utilizing

smartphone

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smartphones

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by playing games or watching video

that

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which

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affect

the

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their

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reading and writing

skill

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skills

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Submitted by ananalmahyawi on Thu Jun 27 2024

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task response

Ensure your essay stays focused on the specific question, more thoroughly addressing both the advantages and disadvantages of the idea presented.

coherence and cohesion

Strengthen the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs. Consider using a clearer structure with topic sentences and linking phrases.

general

Proofread to correct minor language mistakes, such as misspellings and grammar errors, to enhance clarity and professionalism in writing.

general

Provides relevant examples to support key points.

task response

Uses personal experience to explain ideas, making the essay more relatable and engaging.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

4
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
25
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

232 words

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In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. 🔸What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Fully explain your ideas

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

it is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

More and more wild animals are on the verge of extinction and others are on the endangered list. What are the reasons for this? What can be done to solve this problem?

Nowadays, managers and team leaders in many organizations and companies are much younger compared to the past. What are the reasons for it? Is it positive or negative development?

Computers and A.I. technology are increasingly being used for online education. Can artificial intelligence enhance the learning experience? Is this a positive or a negative development?