Young people learn more about good behaviour from books or films/ movies than they learn from real-life experiences. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Young
people
learn more from books or films
/ movies about good behaviour
rather than they learn from some
real-life experiences. In my Correct quantifier usage
apply
opinion
I partially agree because both Add a comma
opinion,
of
ways have different impacts.
On the one hand, Change preposition
apply
the
good Correct article usage
apply
behave
Replace the word
behaviour
could
be learned in some media nowadays because technology is famous and often Wrong verb form
can
using
Wrong verb form
used
for
many Change preposition
by
people
in
worldwide, especially teenagers. They can learn anything Change preposition
apply
what
they need to make their life more valuable. Change the word
that
For example
, the
Correct article usage
apply
motivation
books, Replace the word
motivational
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
tells
Correct subject-verb agreement
tell
Add an article
the reader
a reader
reader
how to Fix the agreement mistake
readers
maintenance
Replace the word
maintain
our
mindset and mood in Correct pronoun usage
their
stable
mode. Correct article usage
a stable
Therefore
, this
is use full
for teenagers to make their mood always positive. Replace the word
useful
In addition
, there are other media information provide
for young Wrong verb form
provided
people
related to behaviour
, such
as films
. There are different title
of Fix the agreement mistake
titles
films
that improve the behaviour
of youngest
Correct article usage
the youngest
people
. Benefit
of learning something from Add an article
The benefit
Indonesia
film, Correct your spelling
Indonesian
for instance
, the movie shows
Verb problem
is
about
a boy who always Change preposition
apply
struggle
Change the verb form
struggles
of
their life until he can reach some achievements. Automatically, for teenagers, when they watch the movie, they will know about the message from Change preposition
with
contents
of that. So that’s why the youngest Correct article usage
the contents
prefer
learn attitude from Add the particle
prefer to
films
than real-life experiences.
On the other hand
, the young person must aware
Add a missing verb
be aware
of
Change preposition
that
behaviour
is good learn
from some experiences, particularly from adult Add the particle
to learn
people
. Commonly, elderly people
have more story
related to Fix the agreement mistake
stories
behave
. For Replace the word
behaviour
this
, old people
share story
with young Fix the agreement mistake
stories
people
, to make understand
each other. Correct pronoun usage
them understand
However
, in this
situation is a difficult moment to find both young and old people
.
To sum up
, I do believe that positive manner
can be learned by young Fix the agreement mistake
manners
people
from books or films
and real-life
. Eventually, Correct your spelling
real life
learn
from media technology Wrong verb form
learning
more
popular and Add a missing verb
be more
find
easy Verb problem
apply
to
Change preposition
for
young
generation.Add an article
the young
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Task Response
Ensure a clear, concise position in the introduction. The opening sentence is somewhat convoluted and can be made sharper.
Task Response
The essay introduces main points, but they are not clearly elaborated. Develop each point further with detailed examples and explanations.
Coherence and Cohesion
Make sure to use linking words and phrases effectively to guide the reader through your argument. Words like 'however,' 'moreover,' and 'therefore' are useful but should be placed appropriately.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay tends to deviate from the main argument at times. Make sure every sentence contributes to your central thesis.
Task Response
The essay acknowledges both sides of the argument, which is good for task achievement.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has an introduction and a conclusion, which helps in structuring the response.
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