Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification Discuss both these views and give your own opinion
It refers, to one side of
students
think some subjects
which are not associated with the main syllabus should be included in the university academic position. Simultaneously, others argued students
should concentrate only on their academic subjects
and this
is very essential for their careers. This
essay will discuss both views. In my perspective, that would be very useful if the students
studied other subjects
, apart from their academic position.
On the one hand, the university period is one of the most important for pupils, because this
time they should more concentrate on their studies. Additionally
, the main subject only will not give enough knowledge and also
student must know about other subjects
which are apart from their main course. Moreover
, in this
competitive world students
should be in multi-talent
category and most employers are giving priority to Add an article
the multi-talent
a multi-talent
hire
for that category Wrong verb form
hiring
students
. Besides
, their main subject, students
must be known about other subjects
. To illustrate, in my country, most universities designed their syllabus including political science and civics, because the student should know about politics and their rights in the country.
On the other hand
, people some of them thought, that if students
studied other subjects
which are not related to their career, it may cause them to reduce their marks in their main subjects
. Hence
, students
should focus on their academic positions, then
only the career of them
Correct pronoun usage
their
will boost up
.
Verb problem
careers
To conclude
, studying other subjects
which don’t pertain to main academic positions are completely welcome idea. Furthermore
, the university if added any additional subjects
sure it will enhance the students’
life Correct your spelling
student’s
as well as
the community’s development.Submitted by smsundaram57 on
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coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, try to use more linking words and phrases to connect your ideas throughout the essay. This will make your argument easier to follow. For example, instead of just 'on the other hand,' you could use phrases like 'Furthermore,' 'In contrast,' or 'Therefore.'
task achievement
There are some grammatical errors and awkward phrases that affect the clarity of your essay. Aim to use simpler sentence structures and proofread your work to catch these mistakes. For example, 'students should be in multi-talent category' could be simplified to 'students should have multiple talents.'
task achievement
Make sure all parts of your essay support your main argument. Some sentences feel disjointed or unrelated to the main point. For example, your point about the universities in your country should be integrated better into your main argument.
task achievement
The essay provides a balanced discussion of both perspectives, showing the ability to address the task from different angles.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your main points and provides a clear opinion on the topic.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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