Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

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It refers, to one side of
students
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think some
subjects
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which are not associated with the main syllabus should be included in the university academic position. Simultaneously, others argued
students
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should concentrate only on their academic
subjects
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and
this
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is very essential for their careers.
This
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essay will discuss both views. In my perspective, that would be very useful if the
students
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studied other
subjects
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, apart from their academic position. On the one hand, the university period is one of the most important for pupils, because
this
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time they should more concentrate on their studies.
Additionally
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, the main subject only will not give enough knowledge and
also
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student must know about other
subjects
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which are apart from their main course.
Moreover
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, in
this
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competitive world
students
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should be in
multi-talent
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the multi-talent
a multi-talent
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category and most employers are giving priority to
hire
Wrong verb form
hiring
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for that category
students
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.
Besides
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, their main subject,
students
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must be known about other
subjects
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. To illustrate, in my country, most universities designed their syllabus including political science and civics, because the student should know about politics and their rights in the country.
On the other hand
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, people some of them thought, that if
students
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studied other
subjects
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which are not related to their career, it may cause them to reduce their marks in their main
subjects
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.
Hence
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,
students
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should focus on their academic positions,
then
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only the career of
them
Correct pronoun usage
their
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will boost up
Verb problem
careers
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.
To conclude
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, studying other
subjects
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which don’t pertain to main academic positions are completely welcome idea.
Furthermore
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, the university if added any additional
subjects
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sure it will enhance the
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students’
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student’s
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life
as well as
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the community’s development.
Submitted by smsundaram57 on

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coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, try to use more linking words and phrases to connect your ideas throughout the essay. This will make your argument easier to follow. For example, instead of just 'on the other hand,' you could use phrases like 'Furthermore,' 'In contrast,' or 'Therefore.'
task achievement
There are some grammatical errors and awkward phrases that affect the clarity of your essay. Aim to use simpler sentence structures and proofread your work to catch these mistakes. For example, 'students should be in multi-talent category' could be simplified to 'students should have multiple talents.'
task achievement
Make sure all parts of your essay support your main argument. Some sentences feel disjointed or unrelated to the main point. For example, your point about the universities in your country should be integrated better into your main argument.
task achievement
The essay provides a balanced discussion of both perspectives, showing the ability to address the task from different angles.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your main points and provides a clear opinion on the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Broaden
  • Perspectives
  • Specialize
  • Critical thinking
  • Problem-solving skills
  • Career success
  • Interdisciplinary connections
  • Structured path
  • Clear goals
  • Creativity
  • Innovation
  • Academic credibility
  • Recognition
  • Balance
  • Exploring
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