IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

An English-speaking friend wants to spend a two-week holiday in your region and has written asking for information and advice. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter, •offer to find somewhere to stay •give advice about what to do •give information about what clothes to bring

#friend #holiday #region #information #advice #•offer #•give #clothes
Dear Harry, How are you? I got your letter
last
 week, mentioning that next week you are planning to come to Mumbai
for enjoying
Change preposition
to enjoy
show examples
 a short vacation trip with your family. I
felt
Wrong verb form
feel
show examples
 very glad I will be meeting you after a very long time and I have planned
entire
Correct article usage
the entire
show examples
 itinerary for your stay. Once you land, you will find my driver coming and picking you up from the airport to the hotel Le-Meridian. I already booked a family suite for your family and it is very spacious. I have already mailed you all the details. I have already arranged for local sightseeing
also
 a special trip to visit Pune and Lonavala No need to carry heavy
woolens
Fix the agreement mistake
woolen
show examples
 just a jacket is enough because
Pune
Change preposition
in Pune
show examples
 and Lonavala the climate is unpredictable. I will not come and meet you
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the airport because I am
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
out of
station
Add an article
the station
show examples
, but
sure
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
I will meet you with my family before you leave
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
. Please feel free to contact me for any kind of help. Yours lovingly Thomas
Submitted by smsundaram57 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Improve the logical flow of information within paragraphs to make the text more coherent.
coherence cohesion
Make sure each paragraph focuses on a single idea to improve clarity.
suitable writing tone
The letter maintains a warm and friendly tone, suitable for writing to a friend.
complete response
All three points—offering to find somewhere to stay, giving advice about what to do, and giving information about what clothes to bring—are addressed adequately.
greeting and closing
The greeting and closing are appropriate and add a personal touch.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: