IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

An English-speaking friend wants to spend a two-week holiday in your region and has written asking for information and advice. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter, •offer to find somewhere to stay •give advice about what to do •give information about what clothes to bring

#friend #holiday #region #information #advice #•offer #•give #clothes
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Dear Harry, How are you? I got your letter
last
Linking Words
 week, mentioning that next week you are planning to come to Mumbai
for enjoying
Change preposition
to enjoy
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 a short vacation trip with your family. I
felt
Wrong verb form
feel
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 very glad I will be meeting you after a very long time and I have planned
entire
Correct article usage
the entire
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 itinerary for your stay. Once you land, you will find my driver coming and picking you up from the airport to the hotel Le-Meridian. I already booked a family suite for your family and it is very spacious. I have already mailed you all the details. I have already arranged for local sightseeing
also
Linking Words
 a special trip to visit Pune and Lonavala No need to carry heavy
woolens
Fix the agreement mistake
woolen
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 just a jacket is enough because
Pune
Change preposition
in Pune
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 and Lonavala the climate is unpredictable. I will not come and meet you
in
Change preposition
at
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 the airport because I am
in
Change preposition
apply
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out of
station
Add an article
the station
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, but
sure
Correct word choice
apply
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I will meet you with my family before you leave
to
Change preposition
for
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USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
. Please feel free to contact me for any kind of help. Yours lovingly Thomas
Submitted by smsundaram57 on

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coherence cohesion
Improve the logical flow of information within paragraphs to make the text more coherent.
coherence cohesion
Make sure each paragraph focuses on a single idea to improve clarity.
suitable writing tone
The letter maintains a warm and friendly tone, suitable for writing to a friend.
complete response
All three points—offering to find somewhere to stay, giving advice about what to do, and giving information about what clothes to bring—are addressed adequately.
greeting and closing
The greeting and closing are appropriate and add a personal touch.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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