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Writing Samples
Band 3

The pie graphs show the nutritional consistency of two dinners. Write a report to a university lecturer describing the data.

The pie graphs show the nutritional consistency of two dinners. Write a report to a university lecturer describing the data.
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These two pie charts demonstrate the
comperison
Correct your spelling
comparison
 of
nutrition
Replace the word
nutritional
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 components of two meals:
macaroni
Use synonyms
 and medium baked
potato
Use synonyms
. At
the
Correct article usage
apply
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first
blush
Add a comma
blush,
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 it
seem
Change the verb form
seems
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 that there is a basic difference
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
it's
Replace the word
its
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 consistency.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
percentage
Correct article usage
the percentage
show examples
 of
carbohydrate
Fix the agreement mistake
carbohydrates
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. It's an
increase
Change the verb form
increased
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 content of them in the
macaroni
Use synonyms
 meal - 52% , and 35% in the
potato
Use synonyms
 meal. Saturated fat takes
the
Correct article usage
apply
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second
place
Use synonyms
 in pasta with 21%, and
the
Correct article usage
apply
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fourth
place
Use synonyms
 in
potato
Use synonyms
 with only 10%. The third
place
Use synonyms
 in
macaroni
Use synonyms
 meal
devides
Correct your spelling
divides
divided
 between protein and glucose, both of them with 11%, and in
potato
Use synonyms
 they take second and third
place
Use synonyms
 with 25% and 15%
rerespectively
Correct your spelling
respectively
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, there are more no-name nutrients in
the
Remove the article
apply
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both meals - 5% in pasta, and 15% in
medium
Add an article
a medium
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 baked
potato
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, we can see from these pie graphs, that the
macaroni
Use synonyms
 dinner is less healthy than the medium baked
potato
Use synonyms
 meal.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words macaroni, potato, place with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • nutritional consistency
  • carbohydrates
  • proteins
  • fats
  • vitamins
  • minerals
  • fiber
  • proportion
  • component
  • pie graph
  • comparison
  • significant
  • balance
  • healthy
  • dietary choices
  • implications
  • absent
  • presence
  • macro-nutrients
  • micro-nutrients
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