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Writing Samples
Band 3

The pie graphs show the nutritional consistency of two dinners. Write a report to a university lecturer describing the data. You should write at least 150 words.

The pie graphs show the nutritional consistency of two dinners. Write a report to a university lecturer describing the data. You should write at least 150 words.
#graphs #show #consistency #two #dinners #report #university #lecturer #data
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These two pie charts demonstrate the
comperison
Correct your spelling
comparison
 of
nutrition
Replace the word
nutritional
show examples
 components of two meals:
macaroni
 and medium baked
potato
. At
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
first
blush
Add a comma
blush,
show examples
 it
seem
Change the verb form
seems
show examples
 that there is a basic difference
on
Change preposition
in
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it's
Replace the word
its
show examples
 consistency.
Firstly
,
percentage
Correct article usage
the percentage
show examples
 of
carbohydrate
Fix the agreement mistake
carbohydrates
show examples
. It's an
increase
Change the verb form
increased
show examples
 content of them in the
macaroni
 meal - 52% , and 35% in the
potato
 meal. Saturated fat takes
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
second
place
 in pasta with 21%, and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fourth
place
 in
potato
 with only 10%. The third
place
 in
macaroni
 meal
devides
Correct your spelling
divides
divided
 between protein and glucose, both of them with 11%, and in
potato
 they take second and third
place
 with 25% and 15%
rerespectively
Correct your spelling
respectively
.
Furthermore
, there are more no-name nutrients in
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
both meals - 5% in pasta, and 15% in
medium
Add an article
a medium
show examples
 baked
potato
. In conclusion, we can see from these pie graphs, that the
macaroni
 dinner is less healthy than the medium baked
potato
 meal.
Submitted by anastasia on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words macaroni, potato, place with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • nutritional consistency
  • carbohydrates
  • proteins
  • fats
  • vitamins
  • minerals
  • fiber
  • proportion
  • component
  • pie graph
  • comparison
  • significant
  • balance
  • healthy
  • dietary choices
  • implications
  • absent
  • presence
  • macro-nutrients
  • micro-nutrients
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