Art is considered an essential part of all cultures throughout the world however these days you and your people appreciate art and turn their focus to science technology and business. Why do you think that is what could be done to encourage more people to take interest in arts?

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Globally,
art
has been regarded as an imperative part of every culture.
Although
, nowadays, its admirers are declining and
having
Wrong verb form
have
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a high opinion of science, technology and business. There are various reasons behind
this
gravitation like wage differences, school syllabi, and
misbelief
Correct article usage
the misbelief
show examples
that
art
is of no gain. I shall discuss these reasons and solutions to bring people's interest in arts in forthcoming paragraphs. The most prominent reason is the hypocrisy that
art
has no valuable knowledge and
lack
Correct subject-verb agreement
lacks
show examples
practical applicability in
real
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the real
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world.
In other words
, there is a misguided belief that artwork is not
knowledgable
Correct your spelling
knowledgeable
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and society has failed to see how seamlessly it has integrated into everything we do.
This
is the reason that it has not a high opinion in school curriculum, and is always being ignored, whether in the form of cutting funds or cancellation of lectures.
Secondly
, there is a big wage gap between scientists and artists.
For instance
, the average pay for a scientist in Canada is $40 per hour,
however
, most
of
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apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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artist
Fix the agreement mistake
artists
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are struggling to even pay for their basic necessities. These are the reasons that individuals regard
art
lower level and focus on science and business more . The one compelling solution to bring people's attention toward
art
is that
government
Correct article usage
the government
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should allocate more funding
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
craftwork
,
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apply
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so that schools cannot cut their budget and cancel classes for these subjects. The government and schools can hold virtual exhibitions to promote artwork.
As a result
of
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apply
show examples
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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people and students will regard it highly,
hence
Correct word choice
and hence
show examples
misconception of it being unfruitful will end. These are the ways that can bring individuals towards
art
and save it from extinction.
To conclude
, unorthodox thinking of artwork with no practical application and remuneration differentials plays a big role in its declining popularity.
Nevertheless
,
this
can be solved with the contribution of government and schools together by raising funds and doing exhibitions to promote it among individuals.
Submitted by jalpreetjelly79 on

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task achievement
Ensure that all points are substantiated with clear and specific examples to strengthen the argument. For instance, providing real-life examples of how schools cut art classes or how government funding can promote arts can make the essay more impactful.
coherence and cohesion
Work on minimizing any small grammatical errors and improving punctuation to enhance readability and make the essay more polished.
task achievement
Consider providing a more balanced view of the topic by discussing potential drawbacks of focusing heavily on art to show nuanced understanding.
task achievement
The essay responds completely to the task with clear and comprehensive ideas. The reasons for the declining interest in art and solutions to address this issue have been thoughtfully discussed.
coherence and cohesion
Logical structure is apparent in the essay. The progression from reasons for the declining interest to the proposed solutions is clear and logical.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present and well articulated. They succinctly summarize the main points and provide a clear overview of the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Technological advancement
  • Economic growth
  • STEM subjects
  • Job security
  • Financial success
  • Pragmatic
  • Utilitarian pursuits
  • Art education
  • Inclusive
  • Engaging
  • Contemporary society
  • Social issues
  • Environmental themes
  • Digital platforms
  • Virtual museums
  • Interactive art
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