Some people believe that children should be taught academic subjects at school, while others think they should learn practical skills. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
It is widely debated that teaching academic
subjects
in the institution is beneficial for children
, while
others argue that practical skills
should be taught instead
. From my perspective, both
educational aspects should be taught to children
at school becuase
they play equal roles in advancing Correct your spelling
because
children
's characteristics and future lives.
On the one hand, learning academic fields is significant to enrich strong basic knowledge that is
essential for children
's careers. Some complex academic subjects
, such
as maths and science,
are vital for some occupations in both
public and private sectors, such
as doctors, scientists, accountants, businessmans
, economists, and others. Correct your spelling
businessmen
businessman
Additionally
, these subjects
require geniune
effort from Correct your spelling
genuine
children
to study on
those Change preposition
apply
subjects
in order to ensure their comprehensive comprehension on
the studies. Change preposition
of
Therefore
, without sufficient dedication and time
spending to teach children
, they may fail to pursue their dream jobs.
On the other hand
, practical skills
are vital in living in the contemporary world effectively. Some common soft skills'
examples are drawing, dancing, Change noun form
skills
computering
, Correct your spelling
computing
public-speaking
, and negotiating, considered key roles in Correct your spelling
public speaking
characteristic
Correct article usage
the characteristic
developments
of individuals. Spending Fix the agreement mistake
development
equal
amount of Add an article
the equal
an equal
time
in school to improve both
aspects enables individuals discovers
their areas of Change the verb form
to discover
interests
, which some Fix the agreement mistake
interest
skills
can be further
developed to be students' recreations or careers in the long term. Thus
, it leads citizens to fulfill
their life goals competently.
In conclusion, society may reckon that some academic Change the spelling
fulfil
subjects
are more important than others, meaning that school
should spend a greater amount of studying Fix the agreement mistake
schools
time
concentrating on those subjects
. Nevertheless
, I firmly believe that both
academic and life subjects
should be taught in formal
education system because they are critical Add an article
the formal
as
equal Correct word choice
and
as
Change preposition
to
another
, Correct pronoun usage
one another
hence
spending almost identical amount of time
on both
aspects is more efficient for all students.Submitted by kaofangsuknual on
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task achievement
While the essay addresses both views and presents a clear stance, try to provide more detailed specific examples to strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Although logical structure is present, each paragraph can be organized better. Make sure each paragraph focuses on one main idea and is fully developed with relevant examples.
coherence cohesion
There are a few grammatical errors and awkward phrasings that slightly interfere with the readability. Revising sentences for clarity and accuracy would improve overall coherence. For instance, instead of 'businessmans' use 'businessmen' and 'computering' use 'computer skills'.
task achievement
The introduction and conclusion are well-presented, providing a clear overview and summary of the perspectives discussed.
coherence cohesion
The essay's structure makes it easy to follow the argument, with distinct sections for each perspective.
task achievement
The essay appropriately balances discussing both views and giving your own opinion, demonstrating thoughtful engagement with the prompt.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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