Some people think that development of technology helps to reduce crime, while others think that it encourages crime. Discuss both views

In our world, there are a lot of good things. These things affect our lives.
Technology
is one of these things. Some people argue that the improvement of
technology
has a positive impact on decreasing
crime
,
while
others disagree and think it may lead to adverse ramifications.
This
study agrees that
technology
is beneficial in reducing
crime
. In
this
essay, we will discuss both sides of the argument. Nowadays, improving
technology
has merits for protecting official documents.
This
means that hackers may find hindrances to stealing belongings on the internet.
For instance
, cyber security in Saudi Arabia provides strong protection for our personal and formal information. Not only that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
but using
technology
helps authorities identify offenders. To explain that people may be afraid to
do
Verb problem
commit
show examples
crimes because the police can easily catch them.
For example
, the FBI can identify culprits by fingerprints and DNA.
However
, the use of modern
technology
can promote
crime
.
In other words
, some studies prove that social media may encourage
offenses
Change the spelling
offences
show examples
by sharing violence. As an example of that, some channels on the platforms focus on
crime
stories to increase their audience.
In addition
to that, using the internet may lead to
arise
Correct your spelling
a rise
show examples
in electronic piracy.
In other words
, fake official websites can be created to penetrate the accounts of citizens. By the way of conclusion, after a detailed analysis of both points of argument, I believe that developing
technology
is very useful
to decrease
Change preposition
in decreasing
show examples
crime
since it helps the authorities detect convicts and protect people's possessions.
Submitted by btool.taher on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Work on expanding main ideas to ensure they are thoroughly developed and explained, allowing for a deeper discussion of the topic.
coherence cohesion
While your essay is generally well-structured, make sure that each paragraph has a clear and distinct main idea, and paragraphs flow smoothly to improve logical coherence.
coherence cohesion
Avoid overuse of general phrases like 'in other words' and 'to explain that,' which might disrupt the flow of your writing.
task achievement
Used relevant and specific examples to support main points.
coherence cohesion
Provided a clear introduction and conclusion that structure the essay well.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: