IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The chart below gives information about on the percentage of British people giving money to charity by age range for the year 1990 and 2010.

The chart below gives information about on the percentage of British people giving money to charity by age range for the year 1990 and 2010.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The
given
Verb problem
apply
show examples
bar chart shows the data of the ratio which is the different 5 generations
donated
Correct pronoun usage
that donated
show examples
 money to charity in the periods of 1990 and 2010 in England.
Overall
Linking Words
, adults gave money to charity that was higher than the youngsters.
In addition
Linking Words
, the 1990's
people
Use synonyms
 spent more than the 2010's
people
Use synonyms
. In 1990,
people
Use synonyms
 aged 36 - 50 were the
important
Correct quantifier usage
most important
show examples
 donation, which exceeds 40%. The percentage of citizens, aged 26 - 35, 51 - 65 and more than 65, was more than 30%, which was about 32%, 35% and almost 32%.
While
Linking Words
 the number of young
people
Use synonyms
, aged 18 - 25, was lower and touched approximately 18%. In 2010, the British residents aged 51 - 65 were the peak of 5 generations, which is close to 40%. The proportion of
people
Use synonyms
, aged 36 - 50 and larger than 65, was the same and touched 35%.
Nonetheless
Linking Words
, the number of teenagers, aged 18 - 25 and 26 -35, were lower than 25%, which was nearly 6% and 24%. The main difference between the years, aged 18 - 25, is greater than 10%.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words people with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: