Some people think it is better for children to grow up in the city, while others think that life in the countryside for children is more suitable for them. What are the advantages and disadvantages of both places for children to grow up?
In
this
modern world
, there in
an ongoing debate about whether growing up in the urban would be a great idea for their Correct your spelling
is
developments
or whether rural will suit them for avoiding devices and focusing on their mental and physical health. Fix the agreement mistake
development
This
essay will explain both sides with some specific example
and Fix the agreement mistake
examples
reason
.
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
To begin
with, the development between urban and rural has its own difference
Fix the agreement mistake
differences
that
is
associated with some Correct subject-verb agreement
are
factor
. Urban has a lot of Fix the agreement mistake
factors
activity
and academic Fix the agreement mistake
activities
centers
that are suitable for their knowledge and levelChange the spelling
centres
,
so that they can participate and enhance their skills in any factor and choose their future occupation correctly. Remove the comma
apply
Furthermore
, in urban cities, people from all around the world
organize a majority of events about meaningful advices
related to their experiences that do not show up on Change the wording
advice
pieces of advice
bits of advice
internet
so that they Add an article
the internet
hook
a Verb problem
have
lot
chances by using their Add the preposition
lot of
feedbacks
and Fix the agreement mistake
feedback
advices
. Change the wording
advice
pieces of advice
bits of advice
For example
, Tomujin Academy in Ulaanbaatar always organizes events for their students
about studying in
top universities all around Change preposition
at
world
for free, so kids and mentors talk face-to-face and exchange a lot of ideas so that in Ulaanbaatar, Correct article usage
the world
students
are being accepted to top universities by using mentor's advices
.
Change the wording
advice
pieces of advice
bits of advice
On the other hand
, rural cities have a
low educational support. Remove the article
apply
Furthermore
, authorities mainly focus on urban city schools by supporting them with personal computer
, wifi, Fix the agreement mistake
computers
laptop
, and Fix the agreement mistake
laptops
ipad
so that they utilize them at any cost and explore what they want for free. Fix the agreement mistake
iPads
Furthermore
, graduates of top universities in the world
do not focus on rural school kids because of travelling cost
and busy schedules so Fix the agreement mistake
costs
that
Correct word choice
apply
students
are not provided with meaningful advices
and experiences. Even though there are events being organized, they are so expensive that some people are not able to afford it. Change the wording
advice
pieces of advice
bits of advice
For example
, Tomujin Academy organized an event about studying in USA
in our town, Correct article usage
the USA
however
, the expenditure was 18 bucks which is very expensive for some people including middle and high school students
, so they had no chance but cancelling
it.
Change the verb form
to cancel
To sum up
, even though living in the
rural would be a great opportunity to attract many admissions Correct article usage
a
by
its under-developed cons, it Change preposition
because of
also
leads to the lack of information and educational opportunities.Submitted by nazim200709 on
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coherence cohesion
To improve the logical structure, try to ensure that each paragraph flows clearly from one idea to the next. Using transition words can help in this regard.
coherence cohesion
While the introduction and conclusion are presented, ensure they both clearly summarize and encapsulate the main points of the essay. This will strengthen the overall cohesion.
task achievement
Provide more relevant and diverse examples to support your points. Ensure that the examples are directly linked to the main idea of the paragraph.
task achievement
The essay provides a balanced discussion on the advantages and disadvantages of both urban and rural areas for children's upbringing.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clear and provide a framework for the essay.
Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic
IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.
Answer structure for the type of essay
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – advantages
- Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- The main advantage is...
- The disadvantage of this...
- The main benefit...
- Despite these advantages...
- One possible drawback...
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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