Some people think it is better for children to grow up in the city, while others think that life in the countryside for children is more suitable for them. What are the advantages and disadvantages of both places for children to grow up?

#people #children #city #life #countryside #places

this

modern

world

, there

Correct your spelling

show examples

an ongoing debate about whether growing up in the urban would be a great idea for their

developments

Fix the agreement mistake

development

show examples

or whether rural will suit them for avoiding devices and focusing on their mental and physical health.

This

essay will explain both sides with some specific

example

Fix the agreement mistake

examples

show examples

and

reason

Fix the agreement mistake

reasons

show examples

To begin

with, the development between urban and rural has its own

difference

Fix the agreement mistake

differences

show examples

that

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

associated with some

factor

Fix the agreement mistake

factors

show examples

. Urban has a lot of

activity

Fix the agreement mistake

activities

show examples

and academic

centers

Change the spelling

centres

show examples

that are suitable for their knowledge and level

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

so that they can participate and enhance their skills in any factor and choose their future occupation correctly.

Furthermore

, in urban cities, people from all around the

world

organize a majority of events about meaningful

advices

Change the wording

advice

pieces of advice

bits of advice

show examples

related to their experiences that do not show up on

internet

Add an article

the internet

show examples

so that they

hook

Verb problem

have

show examples

lot

Add the preposition

lot of

show examples

chances by using their

feedbacks

Fix the agreement mistake

feedback

show examples

and

advices

Change the wording

advice

pieces of advice

bits of advice

show examples

For example

, Tomujin Academy in Ulaanbaatar always organizes events for their

students

about studying

Change preposition

show examples

top universities all around

world

Correct article usage

the world

show examples

for free, so kids and mentors talk face-to-face and exchange a lot of ideas so that in Ulaanbaatar,

students

are being accepted to top universities by using mentor's

advices

Change the wording

advice

pieces of advice

bits of advice

show examples

On the other hand

, rural cities have

Remove the article

apply

show examples

low educational support.

Furthermore

, authorities mainly focus on urban city schools by supporting them with personal

computer

Fix the agreement mistake

computers

show examples

, wifi,

laptop

Fix the agreement mistake

laptops

show examples

, and

ipad

Fix the agreement mistake

iPads

show examples

so that they utilize them at any cost and explore what they want for free.

Furthermore

, graduates of top universities in the

world

do not focus on rural school kids because of travelling

cost

Fix the agreement mistake

costs

show examples

and busy schedules so

that

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

students

are not provided with meaningful

advices

Change the wording

advice

pieces of advice

bits of advice

show examples

and experiences. Even though there are events being organized, they are so expensive that some people are not able to afford it.

For example

, Tomujin Academy organized an event about studying in

USA

Correct article usage

the USA

show examples

in our town,

however

, the expenditure was 18 bucks which is very expensive for some people including middle and high school

students

, so they had no chance but

cancelling

Change the verb form

to cancel

show examples

it.

To sum up

, even though living in

the

Correct article usage

show examples

rural would be a great opportunity to attract many admissions

Change preposition

because of

show examples

its under-developed cons, it

also

leads to the lack of information and educational opportunities.

Submitted by nazim200709 on Fri Jun 28 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

To improve the logical structure, try to ensure that each paragraph flows clearly from one idea to the next. Using transition words can help in this regard.

coherence cohesion

While the introduction and conclusion are presented, ensure they both clearly summarize and encapsulate the main points of the essay. This will strengthen the overall cohesion.

task achievement

Provide more relevant and diverse examples to support your points. Ensure that the examples are directly linked to the main idea of the paragraph.

task achievement

The essay provides a balanced discussion on the advantages and disadvantages of both urban and rural areas for children's upbringing.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are clear and provide a framework for the essay.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

Introduction
Body paragraph 1 – advantages
Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

The main advantage is...
The disadvantage of this...
The main benefit...
Despite these advantages...
One possible drawback...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
30Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

369 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7.5
band
Some people believe that violence on television and in computer games has a damaging effect on the society. Others deny that these factors have any significant influence on people's behaviour. What is your opinion?
These days, the amount of violence in media is growing. While some people argue that this trend will undoubtedly lead humans to a dangerous future, others claim that it has no damaging effect on society. I believe that in most cases media brutality doesn’t affect people’s behavior.
7
band
You recently received a letter from a friend asking for your advice on whether to go to college or to try to get a job. You think he/ she should get a job. Write a letter to this friend. In your letter: say why she will not enjoy going to college explain why getting a job is a good idea Suggest the type of job that would be suitable.
Hope you’re doing splendidly! I received your letter last Friday and I was delighted while reading your letter as you have finished your Early Childhood Educator. I am writing this letter about the advice which you asked for regarding whether it is suitable for you to go to college or to get a job.
5.5
band
Prevention is more important than cure. researching and treating disease is very costly, so it is better to invest in preventative measures. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is argued that preventive healthcare should be the main focus of the healthcare system instead of medical research and treatment due to the latter being too expensive. While I agree that preventive measures are necessary to stop diseases from spreading and lower healthcare expenditure, I also believe that allocating financial resources to research and treatment should continue despite their high costs.
<4
band
A lot of places in the world rely on tourism as a main source of income. Unfortunately, tourism can also be a source of problems if it is not well-managed. What are the advantages and disadvantages of tourism in the modern world? Do you think that the benefits of tourism outweigh it is drawbacks?
Many countries and places in the world rely on tourism as a mainly source of revenue. Nevertheless, tourism can also be a source of issues if it's not well control. There are a good and outweigh sides of tourism in the modern world. For instance, a lot of tourists visit to our country for spot ancient buildings or relaxing in our country. This reasons can be one example.
5
band
Many believe that modern technology has brought people together, but others say that it has driven us apart. Discuss both viewpoints and give your own opinion.
There is a widespread belief that, up-to-date technologies have been creating a huge amount of ways to socialise with each other day by day. Many argue that, it can make stronger bonds between people from all over the world. However, it also can lead to isolation and harmful cosequences.

Some people think it is better for children to grow up in the city, while others think that life in the countryside for children is more suitable for them. What are the advantages and disadvantages of both places for children to grow up?

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

Some people believe that violence on television and in computer games has a damaging effect on the society. Others deny that these factors have any significant influence on people's behaviour. What is your opinion?

Prevention is more important than cure. researching and treating disease is very costly, so it is better to invest in preventative measures. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

A lot of places in the world rely on tourism as a main source of income. Unfortunately, tourism can also be a source of problems if it is not well-managed. What are the advantages and disadvantages of tourism in the modern world? Do you think that the benefits of tourism outweigh it is drawbacks?

Many believe that modern technology has brought people together, but others say that it has driven us apart. Discuss both viewpoints and give your own opinion.