IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The chart below gives information about on the percentage of British people giving money to charity by age range for the year 1990 and 2010.

The chart below gives information about on the percentage of British people giving money to charity by age range for the year 1990 and 2010.
#information #percentage #british #people #money #charity #age #range #year
The bar chart provides information on British citizens by
age
group
 spending money to
charity
 in 1990 and 2010.
Overall
, in 1990, the highest
charity
 was given
by
Change preposition
to
show examples
36
Correct article usage
the 36
show examples
-50
age
group
,
while
, in 2010, it was
by
Change preposition
to
show examples
51
Correct article usage
the 51
show examples
-65
age
group
. And the least was given by
youngster
Fix the agreement mistake
youngsters
show examples
 in
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
both years. In 1990,
people
 between
18
Correct article usage
the 18
show examples
-25
age
group
 had contributed around 16%, which
then
 decreased by 6% in 2010.
People
 between
age
Add an article
the age
show examples
group
 of 26-35 and 36-50, had given around 31% and 40%, respectively,
similarly
Add a comma
similarly,
show examples
people
 from
similar
Add an article
the similar
show examples
age
group
Fix the agreement mistake
groups
show examples
 in the year 2010
had given
Wrong verb form
gave
show examples
 approx 24% and 35%, respectively.
This
 figure decreased as
age
increases
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
, 51-65
age
group
 citizens in 1990 had given around 35% to
charity
, which was surpassed in 2010 by
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
age
group
people
, recording
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
39% approx. Both numbers
then
 decreased in subsequent
age
group
Fix the agreement mistake
groups
show examples
,
people
 below 65, in 1990 had given around 33% to
charity
,
where
Correct word choice
whereas
show examples
people
 from 2010 had given 35% approx to
charity
 .
Submitted by prajapativishal9328 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Replace the words age, group, charity, people with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 7 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 4 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: