IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below gives information about on the percentage of British people giving money to charity by age range for the year 1990 and 2010.

The chart below gives information about on the percentage of British people giving money to charity by age range for the year 1990 and 2010.
#information #percentage #british #people #money #charity #age #range #year
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The bar chart provides information on British citizens by
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
 spending money to
charity
Use synonyms
 in 1990 and 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, in 1990, the highest
charity
Use synonyms
 was given
by
Change preposition
to
show examples
36
Correct article usage
the 36
show examples
-50
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
, in 2010, it was
by
Change preposition
to
show examples
51
Correct article usage
the 51
show examples
-65
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
. And the least was given by
youngster
Fix the agreement mistake
youngsters
show examples
 in
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
both years. In 1990,
people
Use synonyms
 between
18
Correct article usage
the 18
show examples
-25
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
 had contributed around 16%, which
then
Linking Words
 decreased by 6% in 2010.
People
Use synonyms
 between
Use synonyms
age
Add an article
the age
show examples
group
Use synonyms
 of 26-35 and 36-50, had given around 31% and 40%, respectively,
Linking Words
similarly
Add a comma
similarly,
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 from
similar
Add an article
the similar
show examples
age
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
group
Fix the agreement mistake
groups
show examples
 in the year 2010
had given
Wrong verb form
gave
show examples
 approx 24% and 35%, respectively.
This
Linking Words
 figure decreased as
age
Use synonyms
increases
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
, 51-65
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
 citizens in 1990 had given around 35% to
charity
Use synonyms
, which was surpassed in 2010 by
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
people
Use synonyms
, recording
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
39% approx. Both numbers
then
Linking Words
 decreased in subsequent
age
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
group
Fix the agreement mistake
groups
show examples
,
people
Use synonyms
 below 65, in 1990 had given around 33% to
charity
Use synonyms
,
where
Correct word choice
whereas
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 from 2010 had given 35% approx to
charity
Use synonyms
 .
Submitted by prajapativishal9328 on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words age, group, charity, people with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 7 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 4 times.
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