IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that it is more effective for students to study in groups while others believe that it is better for them to study alone. Discuss both views and give your own opinion?

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In
this
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 day and age,
group
Use synonyms
study
Use synonyms
 is more beneficial for students
has
Correct word choice
and has
show examples
 become a broad
issues
Correct the article-noun agreement
issue
show examples
 in the general public. Some people argue that it is good for pupils to learn on their own.
However
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, it seems to me that cooperating with others and making progress alone have both sides. The following essay will shed light on
this
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 view.
To begin
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 with, these people hold
Correct article usage
the ideas
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ideas
Fix the agreement mistake
idea
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 that
Use synonyms
study
Wrong verb form
studying
show examples
 in
Use synonyms
group
Add an article
the group
a group
show examples
 is effective. A very important point to consider
that
Add a missing verb
is that
show examples
 learning in
Use synonyms
group
Add an article
a group
the group
show examples
 helps pupils know how to interact with their
group
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 mates.
This
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 means that
schoolchild
Fix the agreement mistake
schoolchildren
show examples
 have a valuable conversation to
discussion
Replace the word
discuss
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 and solutions to address the problems. To illustrate
this
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 point, a good example
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
this
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 is that when they give a presentation of their team product for
teacher
Fix the agreement mistake
teachers
show examples
 and classmates; during their sessions, if they face to conflict, they would solve it in the team. Another point
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 would like to make is that
puplis
Correct your spelling
pupils
 can improve their personal skill and
problems solving
Correct your spelling
problem-solving
show examples
 skills through working as a band.
This
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 is
because
Add the preposition
because of
show examples
 the fact that the schoolchild
facilitate
Change the verb form
facilitates
show examples
 constructive discussions and
develop
Correct subject-verb agreement
develops
show examples
 together.
On the other hand
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, others think that learning
individual
Change the word
individually
show examples
 is better. They believe that the
students
Correct quantifier usage
more students
show examples
more
Add a missing verb
are more
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independently
Change the word
independent
show examples
 in
Use synonyms
study
Add an article
the study
show examples
, the more they will focus on lessons.
For instance
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, when the student
need
Change the verb form
needs
show examples
 to learn by heart their lesson, they would like to
learning
Wrong verb form
learn
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 on their own than in
Use synonyms
group
Add an article
a group
show examples
.
Moreover
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, it is evident that when students
study
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 by themselves, they can prioritize their private
target
Fix the agreement mistake
targets
show examples
.
To sum up
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, people should have
further
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 consideration on
this
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 issue. In my opinion, they should adopt some ways to learn in groups or
study
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lonesome is
Verb problem
alone, it
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depend
Wrong verb form
depends
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 on
Correct article usage
the pupils
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pupils
Change noun form
pupils'
pupil's
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 choice.
However
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, both learning methods
also
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 have advantages and disadvantages, schoolchildren need to know how to control and balance between
group
Use synonyms
study
Use synonyms
 and self-
study
Use synonyms
.

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coherence cohesion
You have provided a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs discussing both views, and a conclusion. However, the essay's flow could be improved by making smoother transitions between points and paragraphs.
task achievement
To improve task achievement, try to provide more detailed examples and explanations to support your points. This will make your arguments stronger and more convincing.
task achievement
There are several areas where your word choice and sentence structure could be refined. Reviewing these areas will help in achieving a clearer and more formal tone, which is crucial for IELTS writing.
coherence cohesion
Avoid repeating similar ideas. Rather, delve deeper into each point by providing more unique insights and concrete examples.
task achievement
You have addressed both views on the given topic, demonstrating a balanced discussion.
coherence cohesion
Your essay includes an introduction and a conclusion, framing your discussion well.
task achievement
There is a clear attempt to provide examples, which helps in illustrating your points.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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