The graph shows the number of boys and girls playing sport in an English town in 2012.

#boys #girls #sport #english #town

The bar chart gives information about the amount of

boys

and

girls

play

Wrong verb form

playing

show examples

tennis

badminton

, cycling, swimming, football, and hockey in English town by 2012.

Overall

, it is evident that

boys

play

tennis

and football more than

girls

, which account for 50% and 60% respectively.

While

girls

play

badminton

and

swimming

Wrong verb form

swim

show examples

more than

boys

which

Correct your spelling

with

show examples

proportion of 40% and 50% respectively. Regarding

tennis

badminton

, and cycling,

boys

play

Wrong verb form

playing

show examples

tennis

and cycling were more than

girls

, there were

precentage

Correct your spelling

percentages

of 50% and 35% respectively.

While

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

girls

only

accont

Correct your spelling

account

for 37% and 20% at same exercises.

Whereas

, there were 40% of

girls

play

badminton

compared to

boys

who only had 30%

Change preposition

apply

show examples

play

badminton

. In terms of swimming, football, and hockey,

boys

are more

Correct your spelling

likely to

show examples

play

foot ball

Correct your spelling

football

show examples

and hockey than

girls

which

Correct your spelling

with

show examples

proportion

Correct article usage

a proportion

show examples

of 60% and 15% respectively.

Whereas

, 50% of

girls

were

Verb problem

apply

show examples

Replace the word

liked

show examples

swimming compared to to

boys

who only had 40% in swimming.

Submitted by zea14210209 on Fri Jun 28 2024

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

▼

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "whereas, while".

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words boys, girls, tennis, badminton with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.

▼

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3Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

154 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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The graph shows the number of boys and girls playing sport in an English town in 2012.

Television is dangerous because it destroys family life and any sense of community; instead of visiting people or talking with our family we just watch television. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion.

is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Many countries spend a lot of money in art. Some people think investment in art is necessary, but others say money is better spent on public services and facilities. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that success in life comes from hardwork and determination, while others think that there are more important factors such as money and appearance. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

It is a good idea for people to continue working in an old age, if it is possible for them to do so. Do you agree or disagree?