36 . According to those in travel business, the nature of every native holiday in changing. Rather than have a relaxing break, people want to challenge themselves to do adventure on their holidays. Do you agree or disagree ?

#travel #business #nature #holiday #people #challenge #adventure #holidays

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Many people travel for

holidays

for many

reason

Change to a plural noun

reasons

show examples

, but mostly to get away from reality. In

this

essay

Add a comma

essay,

show examples

I will discuss the two different natives, and in my point of view going on

advetures

Correct your spelling

adventures

and doing thrilling things during

holidays

is very entertaining.

To begin

lets

Replace the word

let's

let us

show examples

understand why people go on

holidays

Fix the agreement mistake

holiday

show examples

in the

firts

Correct your spelling

first

place.

Firstly

, for family bonding time. Most members of a certain household live their own

seperate

Correct your spelling

separate

lives, so

holidays

bring them all together.

Secondly

, most

induring

Correct your spelling

enduring

adventurs

Correct your spelling

adventures

adventure

during family

vecation

Correct your spelling

vacation

brings so much memory to

remmeber

Correct your spelling

remember

and talk about at gatherings.

Furthermore

In conclu

Submitted by jowanaalamoudi on Fri Jun 28 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

Your introduction is somewhat clear, but it can be improved. Clearly state your thesis statement, giving a brief idea of what will be discussed in the essay.

coherence cohesion

It is important to provide a conclusion that summarizes your main points and restates your stance. Ensure the concluding paragraph ties the essay together.

task achievement

Develop your points further with specific examples or evidence. This will help in providing more clarity and supporting your argument effectively.

coherence cohesion

Work on enhancing the logical flow between paragraphs. Use transition words and phrases to achieve better cohesion.

coherence cohesion

Improve your paragraph structure by ensuring each paragraph contains a clear main idea and supporting sentences that relate to it.

task achievement

Addressing counterarguments can make your essay more comprehensive. Mention why some might prefer relaxing holidays and then counter this by reinforcing your viewpoint on adventurous holidays.

task achievement

You have identified the trend of people choosing adventure over relaxation in their holidays, which addresses the essay prompt.

coherence cohesion

Your essay shows an attempt to discuss different aspects of holidays by mentioning family bonding and making memories.

task achievement

Your essay introduction states your stance on adventurous holidays being entertaining, providing a clear direction.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

3 paragraphs

100 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5
band
In some countries, more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or a negative development?
Nowadays, variety of lifestyles have been accepted by the modern society. One of the trends is that people have been hiring personal trainers for maintaining their health instead of attending exercise classes or joining sports clubs. There are some reasons behind this trend and I personally think that it is a negative development.
6
band
Some people think studying in groups is better, while some think self-studying is better for school students. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.
Everyone knows that education is necessary to live a better and sensible life. So every society emphasize differernt matothods of studying. But there is also a difference of opinion about studying alone or studying in groups.
8
band
These days many people leave their country to work abroad and take their family with them. Do you think benefits of this outweigh disadvantages in terms of family development?
It often happens that people work abroad, taking their family with them. There are more benefits to the development of a family relationship than disadvantages, for they are more tolerant of diverse perspectives although the difficulty in adapting to different environments can harm the relationship.
6
band
Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. discuss both views and give your own opinion.
People have different views about whether the principal issues in recent years are the extinction of some species of animals and plants or significant threats to the environment. While the loss of animals and plants is a serious problem, I would lean towards the latter opinion. I believe that climate change is the most disastrous issue for humanity and the earth.
5.5
band
Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
In this current world, some people believe that sharing much information about academic things, business, and science was a good thing to do, while others think otherwise. From my perspective, there are truths for both of the views. The following paragraphs will clarify my stance.

36 . According to those in travel business, the nature of every native holiday in changing. Rather than have a relaxing break, people want to challenge themselves to do adventure on their holidays. Do you agree or disagree ?

Fully explain your ideas

In some countries, more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or a negative development?

Some people think studying in groups is better, while some think self-studying is better for school students. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

These days many people leave their country to work abroad and take their family with them. Do you think benefits of this outweigh disadvantages in terms of family development?

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.