36 . According to those in travel business, the nature of every native holiday in changing. Rather than have a relaxing break, people want to challenge themselves to do adventure on their holidays. Do you agree or disagree ?

Many people travel for
holidays
for many
reason
Change to a plural noun
reasons
show examples
, but mostly to get away from reality. In
this
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
I will discuss the two different natives, and in my point of view going on
advetures
Correct your spelling
adventures
and doing thrilling things during
holidays
is very entertaining.
To begin
,
lets
Replace the word
let's
let us
show examples
understand why people go on
holidays
Fix the agreement mistake
holiday
show examples
in the
firts
Correct your spelling
first
place.
Firstly
, for family bonding time. Most members of a certain household live their own
seperate
Correct your spelling
separate
lives, so
holidays
bring them all together.
Secondly
, most
induring
Correct your spelling
enduring
in
adventurs
Correct your spelling
adventures
adventure
during family
vecation
Correct your spelling
vacation
brings so much memory to
remmeber
Correct your spelling
remember
and talk about at gatherings.
Furthermore
In conclu
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task achievement
Your introduction is somewhat clear, but it can be improved. Clearly state your thesis statement, giving a brief idea of what will be discussed in the essay.
coherence cohesion
It is important to provide a conclusion that summarizes your main points and restates your stance. Ensure the concluding paragraph ties the essay together.
task achievement
Develop your points further with specific examples or evidence. This will help in providing more clarity and supporting your argument effectively.
coherence cohesion
Work on enhancing the logical flow between paragraphs. Use transition words and phrases to achieve better cohesion.
coherence cohesion
Improve your paragraph structure by ensuring each paragraph contains a clear main idea and supporting sentences that relate to it.
task achievement
Addressing counterarguments can make your essay more comprehensive. Mention why some might prefer relaxing holidays and then counter this by reinforcing your viewpoint on adventurous holidays.
task achievement
You have identified the trend of people choosing adventure over relaxation in their holidays, which addresses the essay prompt.
coherence cohesion
Your essay shows an attempt to discuss different aspects of holidays by mentioning family bonding and making memories.
task achievement
Your essay introduction states your stance on adventurous holidays being entertaining, providing a clear direction.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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