36 . According to those in travel business, the nature of every native holiday in changing. Rather than have a relaxing break, people want to challenge themselves to do adventure on their holidays. Do you agree or disagree ?
I will discuss the two different natives, and in my point of view going on
advetures
Correct your spelling
adventures
and doing thrilling things during
holidays
Use synonyms
is very entertaining.
Body paragraph 1
To begin
Linking Words
,
lets
Replace the word
let's
let us
show examples
understand why people go on
Use synonyms
holidays
Fix the agreement mistake
holiday
show examples
in the
firts
Correct your spelling
first
place.
Firstly
Linking Words
, for family bonding time. Most members of a certain household live their own
seperate
Correct your spelling
separate
lives, so
holidays
Use synonyms
bring them all together.
Secondly
Linking Words
, most
induring
Correct your spelling
enduring
in
adventurs
Correct your spelling
adventures
adventure
during family
vecation
Correct your spelling
vacation
brings so much memory to
remmeber
Correct your spelling
remember
and talk about at gatherings.
Furthermore
Linking Words
Conclusion
In conclu
jowanaalamoudi
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task achievement
Your introduction is somewhat clear, but it can be improved. Clearly state your thesis statement, giving a brief idea of what will be discussed in the essay.
coherence cohesion
It is important to provide a conclusion that summarizes your main points and restates your stance. Ensure the concluding paragraph ties the essay together.
task achievement
Develop your points further with specific examples or evidence. This will help in providing more clarity and supporting your argument effectively.
coherence cohesion
Work on enhancing the logical flow between paragraphs. Use transition words and phrases to achieve better cohesion.
coherence cohesion
Improve your paragraph structure by ensuring each paragraph contains a clear main idea and supporting sentences that relate to it.
task achievement
Addressing counterarguments can make your essay more comprehensive. Mention why some might prefer relaxing holidays and then counter this by reinforcing your viewpoint on adventurous holidays.
task achievement
You have identified the trend of people choosing adventure over relaxation in their holidays, which addresses the essay prompt.
coherence cohesion
Your essay shows an attempt to discuss different aspects of holidays by mentioning family bonding and making memories.
task achievement
Your essay introduction states your stance on adventurous holidays being entertaining, providing a clear direction.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
Paragraph 1 - Introduction
Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion
Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion
Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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