In many countries nowadays, consumers can go to a supermarket and buy food produced all over the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?
In the current era, many buyers can easily find international
food
products
in a specific section. This
results in many advantages for the consumer however
there are some disadvantages too. I believe that this
development is overwhelmingly positive but some caution should be practiced with it.
With the increased availability of the
global Correct article usage
apply
products
in the markets, some immigrant communities do not have to worry about their staple diet getting disturbed. Because the native community follows a diet with different ingredients, some foreigners feel pangs of nostalgia when they cannot eat meals what
they were consuming in their home countries. To exemplify, some immigrants are vegetarian and some countries do not have Correct word choice
that
much
non-animal foods available in their country. So, these supermarkets import different goods from other nations which really helps these individuals to maintain their diet.
Change the quantifier
many
In contrast
, when goods are brought internationally, sometimes food
gets rotten or develop
germs during transit. Correct subject-verb agreement
develops
In addition
, some manufacturers do not follow hygienic practices in the
foreign countries which may be a daunting task for the importer country authorities to figure out how to control Correct article usage
apply
food
products
. To exemplify, Canada now imports the
Correct article usage
apply
food
products
from foreign origin which takes about many days to travel to the country. Some are returned back due to
the chances of bugs in the containers. Thus
, it is really crucial to minimize the
contamination and maintain the standard of hygiene.
In conclusion, bringing Correct article usage
apply
food
brands from around the world can be helpful for the
immigrants who do not want to change their staple diets. Correct article usage
apply
On the other hand
, it is a challenge for the authorites
to control Correct your spelling
authorities
authority
such
an enormous business. In the end, there are many potential upsides of this
development which cannot be ignored and outweigh a few negatives.Submitted by Kiran on
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task achievement
Your essay responds well to the prompt by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of the availability of international food products, and you clearly state your opinion. Ensure your main points are fully supported with specific details or examples consistently throughout your essay to further strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
While your essay has a good logical structure, consider improving the transitions between the paragraphs and between the ideas within each paragraph to ensure a smoother flow of information. This will help make your essay more cohesive.
language use
There are minor grammatical and phrasing issues that slightly impede the reading flow. For example, the phrase 'To exemplify, some immigrants are vegetarian and some countries do not have much non-animal foods available in their country' can be streamlined for clarity. Consider revisiting your essay to polish such areas for higher precision.
task achievement
You provide a clear stance on the topic and return to it in your conclusion, which ties your essay together effectively.
introduction conclusion
Your introduction sets the stage for the discussion nicely and outlines both sides of the argument.
task achievement
You have included relevant specific examples in your essay, which help to illustrate your points well.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.