Climate change is a big environmental problem that has become critical in the last couple of decades. Some people claim that humans should stop using fossil fuels and use only alternative energy resources, such as wind and solar power. Others say that oil, gas and coal are essential many industries and not using them will lead to economy collapse. Discuss both views and give your opinion
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In recent decades, one of the most pressing issues is climate change which is the result of human fossil fuels usage.
Therefore
, this
should be limited or stopped to alleviate environmental problems. Nevertheless
, others believe that oil, gas, and coal are facilities that society needs on daily
basis.
On the one hand, individuals should cut down on consuming non-renewable energy sources because it will not only provoke Correct article usage
a daily
ecology
crisis but Correct article usage
an ecology
also
ozone layer depletion. In addition
, there will be more severe disasters such
as forest fires and more animals becoming endangered or extinct. However
, instead
of using those environmentally harmful materials, individuals can substitute them by
eco-friendly energies like solar, wind, and hydropower. Even though operating many machines to generate sustainable energy may cost a lot of money, it will definitely play a crucial role in preserving the environment.
Change preposition
with
On the other hand
, almost
Correct your spelling
most
people
use fossil-fueled energies in every daily activities
which are essential to power most Change to a singular noun
activity
of
vehicles and machines. Recently, Change preposition
apply
although
a few countries have tried to replace fuel cars with electric ones, there are very expensive and rarely any charging ports for them. Thereupon
, most people
will not be able to afford electric cars and more people
are willing to buy fuel cars which are much cheaper. Besides
that, If humans stop using, people
will not be able to commute to work and factories will stop producing more products that will benefit the general public.
In conclusion, it is undeniable that oil, gas, and coal are necessary in
life but their impact on the environment is extremely negative. So, I personally think that the government must exploit the potential of renewable resources by investing heavily in solar, wind, and hydropower projects in order to reduce the reliance on fossil fuels.Change the preposition
for
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coherence cohesion
To enhance the coherence and cohesion of your essay, it is recommended to use more linking phrases and cohesive devices to better connect your ideas between paragraphs. For example, phrases like 'Furthermore', 'On the contrary', and 'As a result' can help maintain the flow.
task achievement
To improve task achievement, provide more specific examples to support your points. This will not only make your arguments more convincing but also demonstrate a clear understanding of the topic.
task achievement
Consider refining some of your language and sentence structures to make your ideas clearer and more comprehensible. Avoid using overly complex phrases that might confuse the reader.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which is essential for maintaining a well-structured argument.
coherence cohesion
The main points are well-supported and cover both viewpoints. This shows a balanced approach to discussing the topic.
task achievement
You have effectively addressed the task by discussing both views and giving your opinion. This demonstrates a thorough understanding of the prompt.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example