Parents of obese children should be punished for making them fat. do you agree or disagree?
It is argued that
new
generation Correct article usage
the new
intake
junk food which Correct your spelling
takes
destroy
the body parts. Change the verb form
destroys
This
essay agrees with this
statement because it does not fullfill
the requirements of nutrition in children's Correct your spelling
fulfil
body
and faces severe adult diseases.
Fix the agreement mistake
bodies
Firstly
, obesity is big
issue in every generation, but in the Add an article
a big
child
category having
a severe issue of fat. Verb problem
it is
Furthermore
, it takes a lot of time. Meanwhile, it is the reaponsibilty
of Correct your spelling
responsibility
parents
to control such
concequences
, Correct your spelling
consequences
prarents
should be strict in the matter of nutritional Correct your spelling
parents
diet
and health
. Parents
should not be lazy or liberal, they have to more concentrate regarding
Change preposition
on
the
sugar intake, Correct article usage
apply
fat contained
foods, packed packages and Add a hyphen
fat-contained
softdrinks
,these are the most responsible behind the Correct your spelling
soft drinks
occurance
of obesity in kids. Correct your spelling
occurrence
Furthermore
, Parents
should teach the importance of vegetables and fruits for thier
body, Correct your spelling
their
For instance
, one of the parents
of
my Change preposition
in
appartment
, Correct your spelling
apartment
were
not much serious about Correct subject-verb agreement
was
obesity
concept, their Correct article usage
the obesity
child
were
allow to drink cola Change the verb form
was
everyday
with one cup of Replace the word
every day
icecream
Correct your spelling
ice cream
instead
of vegies and high nutrition food, after 4 to 5 months, child
got admitted and suffered from Add an article
the child
a child
severe
infection of Add an article
a severe
stomach
.
Add an article
the stomach
Secondly
, parents
should charged fine because ignorance by parents
during phase
of Add an article
the phase
a phase
child
it leads to severe adult diseases like,
hypertension, diabetes and other severe heart problems. Many scientists and doctors have suggested Remove the comma
apply
to be
more aware related Change the verb form
being
diet
in the early stage of life
that
is Correct pronoun usage
which
age
of junior students. it is proven that early phase Add an article
the age
diet
is responsible for todays
Change to a genitive case
today's
health
, that is
it
present Correct pronoun usage
apply
health
issues are responsible by
Change preposition
for
young
age Correct article usage
a young
diet
, which may lead to severe health
problems. For instance
, The survey of healthy
Correct your spelling
Healthy Life
life
of 2022 shows, Correct word choice
that youth
youth
people are getting weaker Correct your spelling
young
year-by-year
. Correct your spelling
year by year
Furthermore
, the
Correct article usage
apply
disease
like high BP, Fix the agreement mistake
diseases
high
sugar are Correct word choice
and high
getting increase
in Wrong verb form
increasing
youth
generation, it Correct article usage
the youth
also
mentioned that it is blame
Wrong verb form
blamed
to
Change preposition
on
eating
habits Correct article usage
the eating
to
young ones.
Change preposition
of
To conclude
, parents
arrogant nature is Change noun form
parents'
parent's
the
responsible Change the article
apply
behind
the bad Change preposition
for
health
of todays
kids, they should focus on high-protein intakes and other healthy activities. later, it results Change to a genitive case
today's
Change preposition
in as
as
Correct your spelling
a
healty
Correct your spelling
healthy
life
to
their toddlers and can live Change preposition
for
better
Add an article
a better
life
.Fix the agreement mistake
lives
Submitted by rohanshingala7781 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task response
Ensure your introduction clearly states your stance on the topic and briefly outlines the main points you will cover.
coherence cohesion
Try to avoid repetition and ensure each paragraph introduces a new supporting point to maintain a logical structure.
coherence cohesion
Work on your transitions between sentences and paragraphs to make the essay flow more smoothly.
task response
Your essay provides relevant and specific examples to support the main points.
task response
The essay addresses the prompt effectively, discussing the responsibility of parents and the health consequences of childhood obesity.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?