"Prevention is better than cure" Out of a country's health budget, a large proportion should be diverted from treatment to spending on health education and preventive measures. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#prevention #cure #country #health #budget #proportion #treatment #education #measures

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Since

dawn

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the dawn

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of civilization, illness and outbreaks have

been

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

occurred in human

sociaties

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societies

inevitably. Regarding

to tackle

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tackling

show examples

this

issue, there

have

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has

show examples

been a debate on whether is

affective

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effective

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to focus on treating people or preventing

against

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apply

show examples

disease

development. I

am subscribe

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show examples

to the view that spending on prevention

approachs

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approaches

approach

Firstly

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

public awareness as an essential approach

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show examples

prevention methods has been paving the

roads

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road

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disease

elimination. To clarify, some

disease

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diseases

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such

as infectious ones are contagious and spread to

vulnerabel

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vulnerable

individuals via physical transmission. In

this

case, informing

community

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the community

show examples

about the possible

routs

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routes

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of getting

disease

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the disease

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may control the incidence rate.

Similarly

chroninc

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chronic

disease

such

as diabetes needs

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apply

show examples

subestantial

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substantial

efforts to inform people about the risk factors of developing diabetes.

For instance

, in developed countries not only the

health

guidelines are a

dispencable

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dispensable

indispensable

part of an education system, but

also

some methods of

disease

control are applied to monitor the incidence of

disease

However

, the probability of getting a

disease

in developed countries

are

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show examples

lower than in countries without any

health

education programme.

On the other hand

, the

needs

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need

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for novel drugs

have

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has

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been challenging in recent decades.

Due to

emergence

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the emergence

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of outbreaks and epidemics,

scientist

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scientists

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are faced

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with

show examples

ambiguty

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ambiguity

ambiguous

situation.

Then

, it needs to develop novel remedies and tremendous investments in

this

sector. Take

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the Covid-19

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Covid-19

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COVID-19

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pandemic as an example

that

Verb problem

has

show examples

collapsed the

health

system

throughly

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thoroughly

, the governments

initially

invested a huge portion of

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the

show examples

country

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country's

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budget in institutes to reveal a novel

cureness

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cure

to combat

against

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apply

show examples

Covid-19. It

worth

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is worth

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mentioning that despite the fact that

huge

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a huge

show examples

investment

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is to

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find an efficient vaccine to alleviate

disease

symptoms, investing

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show examples

media to broadcast

health

awarness

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awareness

could

mainely

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mainly

reduce the

disease

prevalence.

To conclude

, in my opinion, not only

the

Add a missing verb

does the

show examples

cost of prevention

has not

Verb problem

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be numbered as an expenditure, but

also

it must be regarded as

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profitable investment in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

public

health

Submitted by aradzandieh.dvm on Fri Jun 28 2024

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grammar

Work on grammatical accuracy and spelling to improve overall clarity. For example, "sociaties" should be "societies", "affective" should be "effective", "approachs" should be "approaches", and so on.

task response

Provide more specific examples and details to better support your arguments. Specific cases can significantly strengthen your points.

coherence

Maintain a clearer structure in your paragraphs. Use more transitional phrases and logical connectors to improve the flow of ideas.

conclusion

Expand on your conclusion to more clearly summarize the main points discussed in your essay. This will help tie your arguments together more effectively.

task response

You have attempted to address both sides of the argument, which shows a balanced approach.

task comprehension

Your essay shows a good understanding of the topic and the complexities involved in healthcare budgeting.

coherence

There is a clear effort to present a logical structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
47
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

318 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

preventive measures
health education
public awareness
proactive approach
unsustainable
economic productivity
healthcare system
vaccinations
curative measures
comprehensive healthcare
financial burden
incidence
preventable diseases
eradicating
controlling
allocated

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"Prevention is better than cure" Out of a country's health budget, a large proportion should be diverted from treatment to spending on health education and preventive measures. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people think that children should not watch television, because it has negative effects, while others believe it helps children. Discuss both views and give your opinion

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Some people believe that children should spend all of their free time with their families. Others believe that this is unnecessary or even negative. Discuss the possible arguments on both sides, and say which side you personally support.

Many employers believe that good social skills are as important as good qualifications to succeed in a job, so they are employing people who are with good social skills. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part In organised group activities in their free time. Others say that it is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.