"Prevention is better than cure" Out of a country's health budget, a large proportion should be diverted from treatment to spending on health education and preventive measures. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Since
dawn
of civilization, illness and outbreaks have Add an article
the dawn
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
an
occurred in human Correct article usage
apply
sociaties
inevitably. Regarding Correct your spelling
societies
to tackle
Change the verb form
tackling
this
issue, there have
been a debate on whether is Change the verb form
has
affective
to focus on treating people or preventing Correct your spelling
effective
against
Change preposition
apply
disease
development. I am subscribe
to the view that spending on prevention Change the verb form
subscribe
approachs
.
Correct your spelling
approaches
approach
Firstly
, the
public awareness as an essential approach Correct article usage
apply
in
prevention methods has been paving the Change preposition
to
roads
to Fix the agreement mistake
road
disease
elimination. To clarify, some disease
Fix the agreement mistake
diseases
such
as infectious ones are contagious and spread to vulnerabel
individuals via physical transmission. In Correct your spelling
vulnerable
this
case, informing community
about the possible Add an article
the community
routs
of getting Correct your spelling
routes
disease
may control the incidence rate. Correct article usage
the disease
Similarly
, chroninc
Correct your spelling
chronic
disease
such
as diabetes needs a
Correct article usage
apply
subestantial
efforts to inform people about the risk factors of developing diabetes. Correct your spelling
substantial
For instance
, in developed countries not only the health
guidelines are a dispencable
part of an education system, but Correct your spelling
dispensable
indispensable
also
some methods of disease
control are applied to monitor the incidence of disease
. However
, the probability of getting a disease
in developed countries are
lower than in countries without any Change the verb form
is
health
education programme.
On the other hand
, the needs
for novel drugs Fix the agreement mistake
need
have
been challenging in recent decades. Correct subject-verb agreement
has
Due to
emergence
of outbreaks and epidemics, Correct article usage
the emergence
scientist
are faced Fix the agreement mistake
scientists
to
an Change preposition
with
ambiguty
situation. Correct your spelling
ambiguity
ambiguous
Then
, it needs to develop novel remedies and tremendous investments in this
sector. Take Correct article usage
the Covid-19
Covid-19
pandemic as an example Correct your spelling
COVID-19
that
is
collapsed the Verb problem
has
health
system throughly
, the governments Correct your spelling
thoroughly
initially
invested a huge portion of a
Correct article usage
the
country
budget in institutes to reveal a novel Change noun form
country's
cureness
to combat Correct your spelling
cure
against
Covid-19. It Change preposition
apply
worth
mentioning that despite the fact that Add a missing verb
is worth
huge
investment Correct article usage
a huge
to
find an efficient vaccine to alleviate Add a missing verb
is to
disease
symptoms, investing on
media to broadcast Change preposition
in
health
awarness
could Correct your spelling
awareness
mainely
reduce the Correct your spelling
mainly
disease
prevalence.
To conclude
, in my opinion, not only the
cost of prevention Add a missing verb
does the
has not
be numbered as an expenditure, but Verb problem
to
also
it must be regarded as an
profitable investment in Change the article
a
the
public Correct article usage
apply
health
.Submitted by aradzandieh.dvm on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
grammar
Work on grammatical accuracy and spelling to improve overall clarity. For example, "sociaties" should be "societies", "affective" should be "effective", "approachs" should be "approaches", and so on.
task response
Provide more specific examples and details to better support your arguments. Specific cases can significantly strengthen your points.
coherence
Maintain a clearer structure in your paragraphs. Use more transitional phrases and logical connectors to improve the flow of ideas.
conclusion
Expand on your conclusion to more clearly summarize the main points discussed in your essay. This will help tie your arguments together more effectively.
task response
You have attempted to address both sides of the argument, which shows a balanced approach.
task comprehension
Your essay shows a good understanding of the topic and the complexities involved in healthcare budgeting.
coherence
There is a clear effort to present a logical structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.