"Prevention is better than cure" Out of a country's health budget, a large proportion should be diverted from treatment to spending on health education and preventive measures. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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Since
dawn
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the dawn
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of civilization, illness and outbreaks have
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
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an
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apply
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occurred in human
sociaties
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societies
inevitably. Regarding
to tackle
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tackling
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this
issue, there
have
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has
show examples
been a debate on whether is
affective
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effective
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to focus on treating people or preventing
against
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apply
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disease
development. I
am subscribe
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subscribe
show examples
to the view that spending on prevention
approachs
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approaches
approach
.
Firstly
,
the
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apply
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public awareness as an essential approach
in
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to
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prevention methods has been paving the
roads
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road
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to
disease
elimination. To clarify, some
disease
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diseases
show examples
such
as infectious ones are contagious and spread to
vulnerabel
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vulnerable
individuals via physical transmission. In
this
case, informing
community
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the community
show examples
about the possible
routs
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routes
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of getting
disease
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the disease
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may control the incidence rate.
Similarly
,
chroninc
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chronic
disease
such
as diabetes needs
a
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apply
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subestantial
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substantial
efforts to inform people about the risk factors of developing diabetes.
For instance
, in developed countries not only the
health
guidelines are a
dispencable
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dispensable
indispensable
part of an education system, but
also
some methods of
disease
control are applied to monitor the incidence of
disease
.
However
, the probability of getting a
disease
in developed countries
are
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is
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lower than in countries without any
health
education programme.
On the other hand
, the
needs
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need
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for novel drugs
have
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has
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been challenging in recent decades.
Due to
emergence
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the emergence
show examples
of outbreaks and epidemics,
scientist
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scientists
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are faced
to
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with
show examples
an
ambiguty
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ambiguity
ambiguous
situation.
Then
, it needs to develop novel remedies and tremendous investments in
this
sector. Take
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the Covid-19
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Covid-19
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COVID-19
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pandemic as an example
that
is
Verb problem
has
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collapsed the
health
system
throughly
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thoroughly
, the governments
initially
invested a huge portion of
a
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the
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country
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country's
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budget in institutes to reveal a novel
cureness
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cure
to combat
against
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apply
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Covid-19. It
worth
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is worth
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mentioning that despite the fact that
huge
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a huge
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investment
to
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is to
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find an efficient vaccine to alleviate
disease
symptoms, investing
on
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in
show examples
media to broadcast
health
awarness
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awareness
could
mainely
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mainly
reduce the
disease
prevalence.
To conclude
, in my opinion, not only
the
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does the
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cost of prevention
has not
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to
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be numbered as an expenditure, but
also
it must be regarded as
an
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a
show examples
profitable investment in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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public
health
.
Submitted by aradzandieh.dvm on

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grammar
Work on grammatical accuracy and spelling to improve overall clarity. For example, "sociaties" should be "societies", "affective" should be "effective", "approachs" should be "approaches", and so on.
task response
Provide more specific examples and details to better support your arguments. Specific cases can significantly strengthen your points.
coherence
Maintain a clearer structure in your paragraphs. Use more transitional phrases and logical connectors to improve the flow of ideas.
conclusion
Expand on your conclusion to more clearly summarize the main points discussed in your essay. This will help tie your arguments together more effectively.
task response
You have attempted to address both sides of the argument, which shows a balanced approach.
task comprehension
Your essay shows a good understanding of the topic and the complexities involved in healthcare budgeting.
coherence
There is a clear effort to present a logical structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • preventive measures
  • health education
  • public awareness
  • proactive approach
  • unsustainable
  • economic productivity
  • healthcare system
  • vaccinations
  • curative measures
  • comprehensive healthcare
  • financial burden
  • incidence
  • preventable diseases
  • eradicating
  • controlling
  • allocated
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