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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The two bar charts show the proportion of 14-16 year-old students studying a modern foreign language in an English Speaking country and the top three popular foreign languages. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant

The two bar charts show the proportion of 14-16 year-old students studying a modern foreign language in an English Speaking country and the top three popular foreign languages. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant
#two #bar #show #proportion #students #language #english #country #three #languages #information #features #comparisons
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The bar graphs illustrate the percentage of overseas languages
learnet
Correct your spelling
learnt
learned
 by 14-16 years old students in
English speaking
Add a hyphen
English-speaking
show examples
 nations between 1984 and 2007.
Overall
Linking Words
, the
girls
Use synonyms
 experienced more interest in learning foreign languages as compared to
boys
Use synonyms
 in both years. Over the period of
time
Add a comma
time,
show examples
 both genders showed less interest in learning overseas
langauges
Correct your spelling
languages
language
.Only
Spanish
Correct article usage
the Spanish
show examples
 language increased in the final
year
Use synonyms
. It is conspicuous that in the
year
Use synonyms
 1984, 48% of
girls
Use synonyms
 and 30% of
boys
Use synonyms
,
those
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
studied 50% of
French
Add an article
the French
show examples
 language in 1984. In 1984 the total number of
girls
Use synonyms
 and
boys
Use synonyms
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 68% and they studied German 20% in 1984, which is a huge gap between French and German language learners. The same amount of
boys
Use synonyms
 and
girls
Use synonyms
studied
Correct pronoun usage
who studied
show examples
 Spanish
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 nearly 4% in the
year
Use synonyms
 1984. Probing ahead, it can be seen from the chart
40
Correct word choice
that 40
show examples
% of
girls
Use synonyms
 and 25% of
boys
Use synonyms
 those were studied French in 2007 nearly 25%, which was half
than
Correct word choice
that
show examples
 in the
year
Use synonyms
 1984.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the total
boys
Use synonyms
 and
girls
Use synonyms
adudied
Correct your spelling
added
studied
 15% German in the same
year
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
, the percentage of Spanish was 10% studied by the
boys
Use synonyms
 and
girls
Use synonyms
, those were in total 65% in 2007.
Submitted by rbtech65 on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words girls, boys, year with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • proportion
  • modern foreign languages
  • English-speaking country
  • demographic
  • participation
  • gender disparities
  • trends
  • popularity rankings
  • analyzing
  • implications
  • cultural factors
  • economic ties
  • global job market
  • increasingly globalized
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