The bar chart below shows the number of employed persons by job type and sex for Australia last year Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.

#bar #persons #job #type #sex #australia #year #summarise #information #features #comparisons

The bar chart here illustrates the number of men and women employed in Australia

last

year in seven different

categories

show examples

except for the

jobs

professionals

and clerical. Incase of males, the highest amount was employed in the tradespeople

jobs

where the number was at

staggering

Correct article usage

a staggering

show examples

900 thousand, very closely followed by clerical

jobs

, just below 900 thousand. The least amount of male presence was in labourers

jobs

, at 400

thousands

Change to singular

thousand

show examples

. Other

jobs

such

as managers,

professionals

semi

Add a hyphen

semi-professionals

show examples

professionals

, production was occupied by 600, just above 600, around 500 and above 500 thousand of males.

On the other hand

, the highest amount of women were employed in clerical

jobs

, reaching 1000

thousands

Change to singular

thousand

show examples

while

the

last

positions

was

Change the verb form

were

show examples

occupied jointly

Correct your spelling

show examples

tradespeople and production

jobs

at 100

thousands

Change to singular

thousand

show examples

. Other

jobs

such

as managers,

professionals

semi

Add a hyphen

semi-professionals

show examples

professionals

and labourers

Submitted by mostakahmedfaysal on Sat Jun 29 2024

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last, such".

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words professionals, thousands, jobs with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 3 times.

▼

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

160 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Employment figures
Sectors
Significant disparities
Gender balance
Skewed
Trends
Patterns
Dominant
Inferred
Labor market
Year-on-year comparison
Insights
Implications

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The bar chart below shows the number of employed persons by job type and sex for Australia last year Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.

There is certainly a difference in thoughts, ideas and actions between children, their parents and grandparents. Why do these differences exist? Does it cause problems in your community, in your opinion?

Some people think that getting old is a negative thing, whereas others think it is much easier for people to live in modern society. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.（社会）

some people say that fashion affects our lives in a negative way. However, others say that it has more positive effects on our lives. discuss both views and give your opinion.

University students are increasingly studying aboard as part of their studies. Do the advantages of studying aboard outweigh the disadvantages?