In many countries, the comsumption of fast food is increasing. Why is that happen ? disadvantage of this trend . provide examples and support your opion.
In recent years, the demand for fast
food
has witnessed a significant increase, in most countries. I believe there are several reasons behind this
issue; however
, it is reasonable to look at its drawbacks as well as
the factors which contriubutie
to its increasing popularity.
The hectic lifestyle of city dwellers and the extensive Correct your spelling
contribute
time
that they spend in traffic often result
in frustration. To be more specific, nowadays, most Change the verb form
results
people
work in a big city, and they stuck
in traffic for a long Add a missing verb
are stuck
time
which makes them tired, so it is impossible for them to prepar
their own Correct your spelling
prepare
meal
by cooking in the kitchen because of tiredness. Fix the agreement mistake
meals
For example
, I am working from 7 AM up to 8 PM as an employee in Tehran which is a big city, but I arrive at home at 10:30 PM which leaves me limite
Correct your spelling
limited
time
to cook.
Conveience
is another reason why Correct your spelling
Convenience
people
prefer to buy fast food
rather than traditional food
. To clarify, if people
want to prepare food
, it takes a lot of time
such
as grocery shopping, washing and cooking. However
, when people
order fast food
, at the quickest time
, they can receive their meal. Although
it seems to be attractive
option for Add an article
an attractive
people
, we can not ignore the disadvantages of this
trend. Long-term consumption of fast food
can effects
Correct your spelling
affect
on
our bodies. Change preposition
apply
In other words
, amount
of unhealthy fat in fast Correct article usage
the amount
food
can clog arteiers
which leads Correct your spelling
arteries
in
various health Change preposition
to
issue
like high cholesterol, obesity and heart disease. My example illustrates Change the noun form
issues
this
. Two weeks ago, while
I was talking to my friend, I found out that she had a
surgery. She was one of my friends who always ate fast Correct article usage
apply
food
at university. She sadly told me,’’ Had I not ate
fast Wrong verb form
eaten
food
all time
, it would not have happened to me’’.
Eating fast Correct article usage
the time
food
not only causes some problem
for our health, but Fix the agreement mistake
problems
also
threaten
our environment. Packing Correct subject-verb agreement
threatens
this
type of food
needs plastic, taking a long time
to recycle, so it leads to environment
Replace the word
environmental
polluation
.
Correct your spelling
pollution
Overall
, while
the demand of
fast Change preposition
for
food
has surged for several reasons such
as conveinent
and Correct your spelling
convenient
convenience
time
, it is important to consider drawbacks, as these may have have
Remove the redundancy
apply
adverse
Add an article
an adverse
effect
on both Fix the agreement mistake
effects
human
and Fix the agreement mistake
humans
environment
.Correct article usage
the environment
Submitted by yektashahryari on
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Grammar & Spelling
Work on minimizing grammatical errors and typos, such as 'convenient' instead of 'conveient' and 'prepare' instead of 'prepar'. This will help make your essay more polished.
Examples & Evidence
You provided specific examples to support your points, which is very good. However, make sure every example directly ties back to your main argument for clarity.
Coherence & Cohesion
To make your essay more coherent, try to add more linking words and phrases between your ideas. This will help the reader follow your argument more easily.
Content Development
Although your points are clear, try to expand on the disadvantages of fast food with more varied examples and perhaps statistical data or studies to enhance the argument.
Structure
The introduction and conclusion are clear and effectively frame your arguments. This strengthens your essay overall.
Content
You've done well to present multiple reasons for the increased consumption of fast food along with its disadvantages. This shows a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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