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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The bar graph shows the global sales (in billions of dollars) of different types of digital games between 2000 and 2006.

The bar graph shows the global sales (in billions of dollars) of different types of digital games between 2000 and 2006.
#bar #sales #billions #dollars #games
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The bar charo
provide
Correct subject-verb agreement
provides
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an information
Remove the article
information
a piece of information
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 about different
kind
Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
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 of
games
Use synonyms
 in global sales from 2000 to 2006.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is evident that handheld
games
Use synonyms
 were the
mont
Correct your spelling
most
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 popular
games
Use synonyms
 over the
six-years
Correct your spelling
six-year
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 period.
Whereas
Linking Words
, console
games
Use synonyms
 were the second favour
games
Use synonyms
 in global
untill
Correct your spelling
until
 2004. In terms of handheld
games
Use synonyms
 and computer
games
Use synonyms
, handheld
games
Use synonyms
 fluctuated slightly between 2000 and 2006,
Linking Words
while
Change preposition
with
show examples
significant
Correct article usage
a significant
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 increase from 11
billion
Use synonyms
 in 2000 to 16
billion
Use synonyms
 in 2004. Computer
games
Use synonyms
were fall
Change the verb form
fell
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 markedly from 6
billion
Use synonyms
 in 2000 to 4
bilion
Correct your spelling
billion
 in 2003. Over the
six-years
Correct your spelling
six-year
show examples
 period, handheld
games
Use synonyms
 keep the best sales compared to
other
Correct article usage
the other
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 three different types of
games
Use synonyms
. Regarding mobile phone
games
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 and online
games
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, mobile phone
games
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 rose gradually from 2
billion
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 in 2002 to 7
billion
Use synonyms
 In 2006, over the
four-years
Correct your spelling
four-year
show examples
 period.
In contrast
Linking Words
, online
games
Use synonyms
 surged rapidly from 1
billion
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 in 2001 to 9
billion
Use synonyms
 in 2006. Both online
games
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 and mobile phone
games
Use synonyms
 became the second popular
games
Use synonyms
 in 2005 and 2006, respectively.
Submitted by zea14210209 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words games, billion with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Trends
  • Surpassed
  • Advent
  • Steady growth
  • Fluctuating sales
  • Technological advancements
  • Proliferation
  • Year-on-year growth
  • Factors influencing
  • Peak sales
  • Demographic shifts
  • Engagement
  • Driving the sales
  • Blockbuster titles
  • Major game releases
  • Spurring
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