The bar graph shows the global sales (in billions of dollars) of different types of digital games between 2000 and 2006.

#bar #sales #billions #dollars #games

The bar charo

provide

Correct subject-verb agreement

provides

show examples

an information

Remove the article

information

a piece of information

show examples

about different

kind

Fix the agreement mistake

kinds

show examples

games

in global sales from 2000 to 2006.

Overall

, it is evident that handheld

games

were the

mont

Correct your spelling

most

show examples

popular

games

over the

six-years

Correct your spelling

six-year

show examples

period.

Whereas

, console

games

were the second favour

games

in global

untill

Correct your spelling

until

2004. In terms of handheld

games

and computer

games

, handheld

games

fluctuated slightly between 2000 and 2006,

while

Change preposition

with

show examples

significant

Correct article usage

a significant

show examples

increase from 11

billion

in 2000 to 16

billion

in 2004. Computer

games

were fall

Change the verb form

fell

show examples

markedly from 6

billion

in 2000 to 4

bilion

Correct your spelling

billion

in 2003. Over the

six-years

Correct your spelling

six-year

show examples

period, handheld

games

keep the best sales compared to

other

Correct article usage

the other

show examples

three different types of

games

. Regarding mobile phone

games

and online

games

, mobile phone

games

rose gradually from 2

billion

in 2002 to 7

billion

In 2006, over the

four-years

Correct your spelling

four-year

show examples

period.

In contrast

, online

games

surged rapidly from 1

billion

in 2001 to 9

billion

in 2006. Both online

games

and mobile phone

games

became the second popular

games

in 2005 and 2006, respectively.

Submitted by zea14210209 on Sat Jun 29 2024

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.

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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.

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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words games, billion with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

167 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Trends
Surpassed
Advent
Steady growth
Fluctuating sales
Technological advancements
Proliferation
Year-on-year growth
Factors influencing
Peak sales
Demographic shifts
Engagement
Driving the sales
Blockbuster titles
Major game releases
Spurring

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The bar graph shows the global sales (in billions of dollars) of different types of digital games between 2000 and 2006.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people say that the feeling of competition should be encouraged in children while others say they should be taught to become cooperatative. What is your opinion?

Some people say that the experiences a child has before starting school have the most influence on their future life. Others say that experiences as a teenager, especially at school, are more influential. Discuss both views and give your own opinion? You should write at least 250 words.

Your friend is coming to your country from abroad, but you can't go to pick him up at the airport. Write a letter to him/her and say -why you can't pick him up -suggest alternative ideas -talk about what he can do in your country

Some people think that family has the most powerful influence on a child’s development, while others think that other factors such as television, friend, music have the biggest effects. Discuss both views and give your opinion?

Fewer and fewer people today write by hand using a pen, pencil or brush. What are the reasons for this? Is the decline in writing by hand a positive or negative development?