IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The two pie charts below show total world energy consumption and electricity generation for last year. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The two pie charts below show total world energy consumption and electricity generation for last year. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The pie charts provide information about the
energy
Use synonyms
 utilization and
electricity
Use synonyms
 generated in the
world
Use synonyms
 based on 7 categories from
last
Linking Words
 year's data. It can be seen that
oil
Use synonyms
 dominated more than one-third of the total
percentage
Use synonyms
 of
energy
Use synonyms
 consumption,
while
Linking Words
 the smallest
percentage
Use synonyms
 was gained by hydro.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, coal had the biggest
percentage
Use synonyms
 of total
world
Use synonyms
electricity
Use synonyms
 produced,
whereas
Linking Words
oil
Use synonyms
 ranked with the lowest
percentage
Use synonyms
. In terms of
world
Use synonyms
energy
Use synonyms
 use,
oil
Use synonyms
 was ranked in
Add an article
the
show examples
first place, accounting for 34.3%, followed by coal and gas, which were valued at 25.1% and 20.9% respectively.
In contrast
Linking Words
, nuclear, combustible renewables, and hydro were placed
last
Linking Words
 for the total amount of
electricity
Use synonyms
 consumption, with 10.6%, 6.5%, and 2.2% respectively.
Moreover
Linking Words
, for the total
world
Use synonyms
 of
energy
Use synonyms
 generation, coal obtained the highest
percentage
Use synonyms
, which was 39.8%.
Additionally
Linking Words
, gas accounted for 19.6% of
electricity
Use synonyms
 produced,
whereas
Linking Words
 hydro and nuclear differentiated by 3.5% and 3.9% from it.
Lastly
Linking Words
,
oil
Use synonyms
 accounted for the smallest
percentage
Use synonyms
 of generated
electricity
Use synonyms
, which was valued at 6.7%.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last, whereas".
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words energy, electricity, world, oil, percentage with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 6 times.
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