It is important for all towns and cities to have large public outdoor places like squares and parks. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

In the Contemporary era, the density of the population in the city
areas
are
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is
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rising at an alarming rate,
due to
the abundance of ample facilities. So, it is commonly believed that constructing novel
areas
like open gardens and play fields
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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beneficial for a city. As it has direct influences on the environment,
as well as
human behaviour.I totally agree with the above notion and my stance
in
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apply
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relevant to it will be discussed in the following paragraphs Usually, parks are created with the sole aim of adding an extra attraction to certain
areas
.
Hence
plants and trees play a tremendous role in it , where additional profits like shelter, cooling effect , and the production of oxygen ,the breathing
air
by using carbon dioxide is expected.
Therefore
, it is advantageous to escalate the pure
air
concentration in the atmosphere in a town area, where the pollution is rising at a significant ratio
due to
the over usage of vehicles and
also
the industrial fumes.
For example
, the research findings reveal that the unique and ideal solution for the increased hazardous pollutants accumulated in the
air
is to dedicate
the
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apply
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1/4 of the
lands
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land
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to cultivate some flora.
On the other hand
, urban
areas
are considered as hectic busy living
areas
caused by the excessive workload borne by the citizens.
Thus
, the provision of essential recreation for the people will help them
to
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mitigate their stress and achieve a state of relaxation.
Similarly
, play
areas
and large outdoor grounds provide opportunities for people to enjoy and feel
the
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apply
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nature.
For instance
,psychological literature depicts that feeling
the
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nature is an ideal treatment regime to heal anxiety and depression.
In contrast
, some assets that the larger spaces utilized to build up
such
infrastructures are frivolous , which can be used
in
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for
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further
development purposes.
Although
the land can be used for other things, the benefits of the parks are more valuable.
To conclude
, I strongly hold on to the view that the nature parks and the large outdoor play
areas
provide us with vital sources of
air
and endless chances to carry out leisure activities and so they inevitably become a crucial part of the cities.
Submitted by oriexam6 on

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task achievement
Your essay addresses the topic well and supports the main points effectively. However, work on refining your logical structure and avoiding overly complex sentence structures that might confuse readers.
coherence cohesion
Ensure your essay paragraphs maintain a smooth flow. Some transitions between ideas can be improved for better coherence. Practice linking sentences more naturally for a stronger cohesion.
task achievement
Include a few more relevant, specific examples to make your arguments more convincing. It will improve the persuasiveness of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Good introduction and conclusion, establishing the topic and summarizing your stance effectively.
task achievement
Solid main points that are well-explained in most cases.
task achievement
Effective use of some examples that help illustrate points, especially related to environmental benefits.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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