IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

It is important for all towns and cities to have large public outdoor places like squares and parks. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#towns #cities #places #squares #parks
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In the Contemporary era, the density of the population in the city
areas
Use synonyms
are
Change the verb form
is
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 rising at an alarming rate,
due to
Linking Words
 the abundance of ample facilities. So, it is commonly believed that constructing novel
areas
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 like open gardens and play fields
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 beneficial for a city. As it has direct influences on the environment,
as well as
Linking Words
 human behaviour.I totally agree with the above notion and my stance
in
Change preposition
apply
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relevant to it will be discussed in the following paragraphs Usually, parks are created with the sole aim of adding an extra attraction to certain
areas
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.
Hence
Linking Words
 plants and trees play a tremendous role in it , where additional profits like shelter, cooling effect , and the production of oxygen ,the breathing
air
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 by using carbon dioxide is expected.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it is advantageous to escalate the pure
air
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 concentration in the atmosphere in a town area, where the pollution is rising at a significant ratio
due to
Linking Words
 the over usage of vehicles and
also
Linking Words
 the industrial fumes.
For example
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, the research findings reveal that the unique and ideal solution for the increased hazardous pollutants accumulated in the
air
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 is to dedicate
the
Correct article usage
apply
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1/4 of the
lands
Fix the agreement mistake
land
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 to cultivate some flora.
On the other hand
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, urban
areas
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 are considered as hectic busy living
areas
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 caused by the excessive workload borne by the citizens.
Thus
Linking Words
, the provision of essential recreation for the people will help them
to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
mitigate their stress and achieve a state of relaxation.
Similarly
Linking Words
, play
areas
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 and large outdoor grounds provide opportunities for people to enjoy and feel
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
nature.
For instance
Linking Words
,psychological literature depicts that feeling
the
Correct article usage
apply
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nature is an ideal treatment regime to heal anxiety and depression.
In contrast
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, some assets that the larger spaces utilized to build up
such
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 infrastructures are frivolous , which can be used
in
Change preposition
for
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further
Linking Words
 development purposes.
Although
Linking Words
 the land can be used for other things, the benefits of the parks are more valuable.
To conclude
Linking Words
, I strongly hold on to the view that the nature parks and the large outdoor play
areas
Use synonyms
 provide us with vital sources of
air
Use synonyms
 and endless chances to carry out leisure activities and so they inevitably become a crucial part of the cities.
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task achievement
Your essay addresses the topic well and supports the main points effectively. However, work on refining your logical structure and avoiding overly complex sentence structures that might confuse readers.
coherence cohesion
Ensure your essay paragraphs maintain a smooth flow. Some transitions between ideas can be improved for better coherence. Practice linking sentences more naturally for a stronger cohesion.
task achievement
Include a few more relevant, specific examples to make your arguments more convincing. It will improve the persuasiveness of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Good introduction and conclusion, establishing the topic and summarizing your stance effectively.
task achievement
Solid main points that are well-explained in most cases.
task achievement
Effective use of some examples that help illustrate points, especially related to environmental benefits.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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