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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The chart below shows what Anthropology graduates from one university did after finishing their undergraduate degree course. The table shows the salaries of the anthropologists in work after five years.

The chart below shows what Anthropology graduates from one university did after finishing their undergraduate degree course. The table shows the salaries of the anthropologists in work after five years.
#anthropology #graduates #university #course #salaries #anthropologists #work #five #years
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The given chart depicts the employment status of Anthropology graduates from a particular university after completing their undergraduate degree course and the table illustrates the income of the anthropologists after 5-year
work
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, the majority of students decide to
work
Use synonyms
 full time after finishing their
Use synonyms
study
Fix the agreement mistake
studies
show examples
while
Linking Words
 the percentage of them who
work
Use synonyms
part time
Add a hyphen
part-time
show examples
 and concurrently
enroll
Change the spelling
enrol
show examples
 in
postgrad
Add an article
the postgrad
show examples
study
Use synonyms
 was the lowest.
Moreover
Linking Words
, after working 5 years, the portion of
freelancer’s
Fix the agreement mistake
freelancers’
show examples
 salaries is similar to state staff’s income. Beginning with the pie chart, the majority of graduates did full-time
work
Use synonyms
 after completing their degree in Anthropology with over a half
while
Linking Words
 the lowest number of those are doing a postgrad
study
Use synonyms
 with part-time
work
Use synonyms
 at just 5%. The
figure
Use synonyms
 for part-time
work
Use synonyms
 is 15% which is quite similar to that of being unemployed which makes up 12%. The proportion of people who did
full-time
Add an article
the full-time
show examples
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
 and concurrently joined in
postgrad
Add an article
the postgrad
show examples
study
Use synonyms
 and
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
the
figure
Use synonyms
 for unknown share the same
figure
Use synonyms
 at 8%. Turning to the table, the percentage of freelancers who receive
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 salary between 25000$ and
under
Change preposition
apply
show examples
75000$ is 20% which is similar to that of people who
work
Use synonyms
 for
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
. 80% of freelance consultants and state staff earn over 75000$ after
5-year
Correct your spelling
5 years of
work
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, half of state employees make at least 100000$
while
Linking Words
 just 40% of
freelancer
Fix the agreement mistake
freelancers
show examples
did
Wrong verb form
do
show examples
 that. 10% of graduates
Use synonyms
work
Correct pronoun usage
who work
show examples
 for private companies
earns
Correct subject-verb agreement
earn
show examples
 between 25000$ and under 50000$ which much lower than the
figure
Use synonyms
 for those who
gain
Verb problem
earn
show examples
 over 50000$ at around 90%
Submitted by Nghỉ hè vui vẻ cả nhà on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 69%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words work, study, figure with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • anthropology graduates
  • undergraduate degree
  • part-time work
  • full-time work
  • postgraduate study
  • unemployment
  • career trends
  • employment opportunities
  • flexibility
  • specialization
  • competitive job market
  • salary
  • earning potential
  • private sector
  • government sector
  • freelance work
  • public policy
  • cultural preservation
  • consulting
  • corporate anthropology
  • expertise
  • accrued
  • distribution
  • sector
  • trend
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