IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Most experiences in our lives that seemed difficult at the time become valuable lessons for the future. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#experiences #lives #time #lessons #future
There are experiences which are very hard
Correct word choice
and
show examples
difficult and they will give us valuable knowledge for the
future
, I somewhat agree and somewhat disagree with
this
 argument and I will explain my opinion
further
 . On the one hand, experiencing difficult situations could help us to make better decisions in
future
. As we face
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
problems and hard positions in our lives, we will be able to learn and gain many crucial lessons that could help us in our make
decision
Fix the agreement mistake
decisions
show examples
.
For instance
, when we are struggling with something that could be terrible at first glance, we learn new ways to solve that and
come over
Verb problem
overcome
show examples
 it,
hence
 if we may have a problem, we can use the knowledge we obtained from the past and
solving
Wrong verb form
solve
show examples
 it easier and faster.
On the other hand
, when we experience an inappropriate condition, it could have bad effects on our mental and physical status.
In other words
, passing the situations that were hard will cause big
terromas
Correct your spelling
teratomas
 and even health problems in the
future
. Take losing one of our loved persons as an example, when we have
such
 an experience, the sadness and stress will not leave us and
also
,
we
Correct word choice
and we
show examples
 may become sick as we were under hard pressure at that period of time. It is true that experiencing difficult situations could bring us great lessons, as they help us to be better at decision making, but I somewhat disagree with
this
 too,
while
, these experiences could treat our physical and mental health conditions in the
future
.
Submitted by tina83at on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Add a clear and concise conclusion that summarizes your main points and gives a definitive stance on the argument. This will help enhance the coherence and cohesion of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Try to structure your paragraphs more clearly, ensuring each one focuses on a single main point. This will improve the logical structure of your essay.
task achievement
Work on making your arguments more balanced. While you address both sides of the issue, it would be more compelling to provide a bit more depth to your supporting points for each side.
task achievement
Clarify some sentences to ensure your ideas are clearly communicated. For instance, “hence if we may have a problem” could be clarified to “hence, if we encounter a similar problem in the future.”
task achievement
You have included relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience, which strengthens your argument.
task achievement
You have made an effort to discuss both sides of the argument, which shows a good range of ideas.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: