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Band 5

Ordinary people try to copy famous personalities by seeing them on TV or reading about them in the newspapers. What is the reason for this? Is it a good idea to copy famous personalities?

#people #copy #personalities #tv #newspapers #reason #idea
Nowadays, many
people
 believe that famous
people
 have a great
life
 so they watch TV shows and read about them to follow their lifestyle, it is because they like to
successful
Add a missing verb
be successful
show examples
 like them,
while
, their real
life
 is secret. A majority of
people
 in society would like to follow information about famous personalities to know about their lifestyle and copy it into their own lives to be as successful as them. The normal population usually think that celebrities have secrets which they can reach by watching TV shows and reading about them,
then
 do what they are doing to be one of them.
For instance
, the young generation really
enjoy
Change the verb form
enjoys
show examples
 going everywhere well-known
people
 go and behaves like them when they are watching or reading about them, so they think in the future they become as wealthy and respectful as them.
However
, copying and taking the
rule
Fix the agreement mistake
rules
show examples
 of these celebrities is not a good opinion because it is not the truth about them.
In other words
, the population who decide to follow famous
people
 by the knowledge that they are making just through some news and interviews, are making a big mistake, because, it is just a picture that
media
Correct article usage
the media
show examples
 wants to show
people
 and is not
the
Change the article
apply
show examples
true in their real
life
.
For example
, many famous singers and actors who are famous in modern days have an addiction to alcohol and drugs and have many problems in their personal lives. In conclusion, the majority of
people
 would like to be informed about famous
people
 by watching TV or reading magazines and newspapers to copy them, because they think by following their way they could be a successful person like them,
however
,
this
 is not a good opinion,
while
, the real
life
 of them is not showing and what
people
 knowing is what media perform for them.
Submitted by tina83at on

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task achievement
Ensure that each main point is fully developed with clear and comprehensive ideas. Try to include more specific examples to support your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Work on organizing your ideas more logically. Each paragraph should focus on one main idea, which should be clearly stated at the beginning of the paragraph.
task achievement
Your introduction clearly states the topic and your opinion on it.
coherence cohesion
You have provided a conclusion that summarizes your main points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • emulate
  • epitomes
  • self-esteem
  • void
  • lifestyles
  • role models
  • inspiration
  • unrealistic expectations
  • disappointment
  • unique talents
  • superficial
  • material wealth
  • public image
  • personal fulfillment
  • ethical values
  • constructive
  • personal growth
  • values
  • philanthropy
  • resilience
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