IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people think its better to choose friends who always have the same opinions as them.Other people say believe its good to have friends who sometimes disagree with them. Discuss boths views and give your own opinion.

#people #friends #boths
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It is frequently believed that some people consider choosing a friend
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 shares similar
ideas
 with them is more
joyable
Correct your spelling
enjoyable
,
whereas
 others think it's useful to have friends who sometimes disagree on some
ideas
. In
this
 essay, I'm going to discuss both views and give my personal point of view on it.
Initially
, being with a friend
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 has similar opinions and hobbies will let you enjoy your time hanging out with him,
However
, you will not gain any benefits with him because most of your time with him will be wasted on funny jokes and playing games, there is no experience and skills gained in
this
 type of friendship, it doesn't mean that
this
 relationship should end.
On the other hand
, having a guy who
disagree
Change the verb form
disagrees
show examples
on
Change preposition
with
show examples
 some of your
ideas
 and has different
interest
Fix the agreement mistake
interests
show examples
, will actually benefit you by learning new skills and diverse interests, which will change your way of thinking and
favorite
Change the spelling
favourite
show examples
 hobbies, for illustration, your friend enjoys playing soccer but you prefer playing basketball, and he asks you to play a game with him, you may love
this
 sport and start participating it occasionally with him. In conclusion, I believe that being related to people who sometimes disagree on some opinions and
ideas
 will have a positive impact on your personality in the long term.
Submitted by yazanalt523 on

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task achievement
Your essay should have a stronger introduction that sets the context and clearly states your thesis. While you did provide some context, it can be more detailed and engaging.
task achievement
In the body paragraphs, ensure that each main point is fully developed. Some of your points seem underexplained. For instance, you could provide more specific examples or explain how exactly disagreements can lead to personal growth.
coherence cohesion
Work on the logical structure of your argument. Ensure that each paragraph flows smoothly into the next. Use more transitional phrases to enhance readability and cohesion.
coherence cohesion
Your essay can benefit from more varied sentence structures and advanced vocabulary. This will help articulate your ideas more clearly and make your writing more engaging.
task achievement
You clearly present both sides of the debate, which is an essential aspect of the task response.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion nicely frame the essay and provide a clear statement of your opinion.
coherence cohesion
You've made a good attempt to link your ideas and provide reasons for your arguments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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